Group Discussions

Is my friend sticking it in my face?

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  i have a friend who occassionally says how lucky she is to stay home and spend time with her child, whenever I mention anything about work. I don't bring it up, only when it comes up due to scheduling. I am happy my child is having fun in school and when we spend time together we're both ready for it.
  Am I reading too much into it?

  Flag as inappropriate Posted by Cguidry725 on 14th September 2007
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  We just moved to a new area and one of the women I've run into a lot in the neighborhood does the EXACT SAME THING! I try to ignore it and I also feel that women who do this might feel a bit insecure about their choice so they take it out this way.

  Flag as inappropriate Posted by Nataly on 14th September 2007
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  I think Nataly has a good point. Sometimes you have to wonder if people are trying to convince themselves that they're doing the "right" thing when they seem to be putting down other people's different choices.

  Flag as inappropriate Posted by Florinda Pendley Vasquez on 14th September 2007
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  I have a friend who always says how "blessed and fortunate" she is to be able to stay her with her kids. She doesn't seem to mind that she never sees her husband who works long hours so that she can stay home. I feel like she might be lonely but wouldn't admit it. The best case scenario is for women to be content with their decision to either stay home or work. If she is content then the family is content and they don't need to brag about their decision - either way.

  Flag as inappropriate Posted by Megan on 14th September 2007
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  I think it definitely can go both ways. Just like working moms feel that they sometimes need to justify their decision to work, stay at home moms feel like they need to justify themselves for their decision to stay home.
  
  When my in-laws found out that I was planning to stay at home/work at home, they started asking me questions like, won't you be bored? Won't you lose yourself? etc.
  
  There is definitely a lot of pressure on both sides, and I think that stay at home moms feel sensitive just like working moms do (and that can account for some of the over the top comments about how fulfilling and wonderful it is).

  Flag as inappropriate Posted by mamajama on 14th September 2007
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  I definitely agree with mamajama that there is pressure on both sides. When I talk to friends that stay at home, I think that is great for them and in some ways I think they are a better person than I! I honestly don't think I could stay home...I love my son without question...but I couldn't stay home full-time with him. I think it is wonderful for mom's that want to and have that opportunity...but that just isn't for me. (Although I would love to work less hours!!) That is why people are different!

  Flag as inappropriate Posted by Sarah O on 14th September 2007
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  The most unhappy people I know are stay at home moms. Further, it seems like the most unhappy people are the ones that say how blessed and lucky they are - they are trying to convince themselves.
  
  In fact, I do this. I would say often how lucky I was to have the job I just quit. It was an awesome, fun, exciting job, but it ate my life. I was trying to convince myself. Didn't work.
  
  Try not to take it personally. Some people are absolutely born to stay home, and that's awesome. Some people are absolutely born to work full time, and that's awesome. Its the ones who repeat over and over again how much they love it who concern me. I think I can I think I can ...

  Flag as inappropriate Posted by jlauren on 15th September 2007