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Recently, I Googled “holidays” and was surprised to learn how many there are.

We all know about Presidents’ Day, the 4th of July, Thanksgiving.

Yet has your boss ever given you any of the following actual-but-obscure holidays off? (I’m self-employed and the witch I work for hasn’t):

· Tweed Day (presumably when librarians in sensible shoes are treated like rock stars)

· Drowsy Driver Awareness Day (Dunkin’ Donuts, I smell a sponsorship opportunity!)

· No Housework Day (or as it’s known around our house, Every Day)

· Barbershop Quartet Day (someone, please make them stop singing “Sweet Adeline” before I lose my mind!)

· National Licorice Day (alias Super Bowl Sunday for Twizzlers addicts)

· Tangible Karma Day (I’ll bake the traditional Tangible Karma Yule Log for dessert)

· Cheese Fondue Day (free slim, color-coded forks to the first 100 callers!)

· Jenkins’ Ear Day (how does the ear of someone I’ve never heard of get its own day, while Van Gogh’s is a punch line?)

· Rubber Eraser Day (America’s unsung heroes finally gets their due)

Then there’s that holiday period when it’s impossible to get a hotel room in New York.

I’m talking about, of course, Egg Salad Week.

Hey, I love the gherkin-fueled hijinks of “National Pickle Day” as much as anyone. But I’d like to propose four new holidays designed specifically for working mothers.

Celebrating this holiday would require eight (preferably ten) uninterrupted hours of sleep. Rising from your 800-thread count sheets at noon, you would discover your family has drawn your bubble bath, slipped out to a double feature, and left the massage/manicure/pedicure team to mercilessly pamper you.