Are Working Moms Happier than Ones Who Stay at Home?

Thanks for the comments and the great discussion everyone!

Personally, I've tried out most of these options - worked full time, worked part time, and currently on a sabbatical, which is allowing me to try out the staying home side. There is no right answer - frankly, even for me, the answer changes based on the role I'm in, what is going on with my kids, etc.

The part of your article that I loved the most was the very last sentence. For me, that is my primary issue with my return-to-work plan. There has got to be a way to be a successful contributor at work AND work more reasonable hours (40ish) so that I get my time with the kids.

I think people who are happy are just doing what they need to do for their own situations.

Sure, you might have a preference to work, not work, work part-time, but, life doesn't always allow us to do whatever we want.

But, doing what you feel is best for your family (and that might change over the years) sure does contribute to being happy.

This article really pinged me because I'm not loving working out of the home now (and because just this morning I blogged about this). Lots of the "good mothering" is really dependent on being present all the time.

I like working, in general, though I'm not in love with my specific job right now. I'd love to figure out how to work at home, but as teacher, it seems unlikely that I'll get all of my middle schoolers to come to me.

Like you, I don't see this as an either/or. Some days, like during break, when I get to stay at home I'm so happy and other days, it's all I can do not to put my head in the oven. Some work days are super satisfying and some make me yearn to be at home with my baby.

I don't convince myself of my happiness. I know for a fact that I am happier working. I suspect many other women do as well. You see-self esteem in a capitalist society is linked to money earned.

Unfortunately, there's no getting away from it. One of the first questions people ask when they meet each other is this one:

"So, what do you do?"

That's no accident.

Thanks for zoning in on this huge issue. I agree with the view you express: who says this is an either/or situation? In any case, me and most of the other moms I know work part time either from home or elsewhere, which totally muddies the water. I think either can be hard, trying to both is hard, too. I think 99% of us CAN agree that we're all over-worked and over-scheduled!!

This is so interesting to me. I really think it goes back to that women want to do it all, and we feel like we're failing if we don't.

I know for me I love my part time work. I love being able to see all of the baby firsts and be at home with her, but there is a great deal of satisfaction from bringing home a paycheck, and honing my skills.

I think I was a little happier when I was working out of the home but not entirely.

I felt the need to leave a comment because I am entertaining the idea of going back.

I think if more companies offered Flex-time benefits to moms there would be less fall out from moms on maternity leave.

I took the entire 12 weeks plus 4 more unpaid weeks when my son was born(he was a little sickies).

My vote is to give 6 months maternity leave or do like they do in Europe and offer 1 year maternity leave. Some places in Europe even send help to directly to their home. They help out with groceries and laundry.

I went back to work for 1 year after my son and I was miserable until I negotiated flex time. Unfortunately the Flex time was not embraced by a new management and I was gone.

Now I am stay at home mom and there are days I just want to get on the train and head into the city for some quiet time.

I miss working because I feel a loss of independence, the contributiion I made to the family, me time, I had a cleaning person and it wasn't me, I never dealt with the laundry and never saw the grocery strore.

I don't miss working because I get to experience all the 1sts with my kids. I tend to be on the sappy side when it comes to my kids. I am a crier at school plays.

I really think it is an individual preference.

Nothing is perfect all the time.

I don't think anyone should be judged for making the choice to stay home or not. I hear it happen all the time.

I never thought I was SAHM and still to this day go back and forth. I am determined to make something out of mykidsregistry.com but who knows:))

Thanks for article.