I’ve had three pregnancies in my life. Can I use them on my résumé? They certainly were among my greatest achievements and best “product launches.” By common wisdom, all things related to home and children are private, despite the accomplishment you, me, and 60 million moms in America know it to be!
Employers still don’t look at mothering and managing a household with the respect it deserves, but what if everything you learned during pregnancy could help you find your dream job? What if you looked at pregnancy differently -- saw it for its contribution to your career? I call this way of looking at pregnancy “Unpregnancy.” It is a life experience during which you build character, manage limited time and resources, and master an unparalleled method of Change Management.
Unpregnancy is introduced and developed in my new book, Motherhood to Otherhood (Running Press). Even if your last pregnancy was two years or 20 years ago, you can use Unpregnancy to reach Otherhood. Why not? Motivational speakers and bosses use sports metaphors all the time, like “Take one for the team," "Hit it outta the park," "We need a home run” -- and when’s the last time they likely played in a real football or baseball game? Unpregnancy is our metaphor and model for how to succeed.
There are nine lessons of Unpregnancy -- the undeniable revelations of pregnancy -- and they can all be reapplied to everyday life and career advancement!
1.) You’ll never be alone again. Network with playground moms & dads for more than bake sale donations.
3.) You are great, with child. Let your child help you access your altered moods -- joy, wonder, creativity, awe -- and bring that great mood to the office or to your new business.
4.) You’re gestating. (Everything else can wait.) Take time to just be. Allow yourself time in each day to do nothing and hear yourself think. Don’t do what you don’t have to. Ask for and accept help.
5.) You don’t know what to expect. Expectations of you become your brand -- make sure you’re managing your brand. Consider how your expectations are changing your mood, behavior, and performance. Open your mind to new possibilities.
6.) Napping is not a crime. Leave your guilt at the door. Sometimes the best way to do the job is to phone it in. Spending less time on a task is not the same as underperforming.
7.) Is Mother Nature kidding me? Maternal Instinct brings on naturally occurring ambition. Body convolutions and physical annoyances aside, you have ambitions and dreams.
8.) Keep your eyes on the prize. Establish your plan by identifying baby steps -- and reach your goal.
9.) Nothing can stop you in the homestretch. Create pressure, take risks. Once you see it and believe it, you’re unstoppable. Sometimes you have to push.
I found that once my youngest child turned 3, I could breathe. I looked up and started thinking about my career, my goals, my SELF for a change. Even though I was a working mom all along, I wasn’t nurturing my career during my childbearing years. I was just getting through -- earning a living, keeping job, home, and health whole. I toyed with the idea of a fourth child, but found what I really wanted was a fourth pregnancy. I know -- who would want a pregnancy without the promise of a child? How about an Unpregnancy with the promise of your brain-child or nine months, nine lessons to a new you?
