-a1677f67c9e0342b5dd4dd69762a0c43.jpg)
It goes without staying that having a baby flips your entire life upside down. I cannot think of a single aspect of my life that was not impacted by Ruby's arrival. Of course I believe that things changed for the better. But there is a change none the less. Some things you notice more than others. For example I now have to run out of work by 5:30 everyday, or now "sleeping late" is 7 a.m., or a hot date consists of Derek and I seeing the new Indiana Jones movie at 1 p.m. on a Friday. One major change is our social lives. The smart ass in me wants to comment "or lack thereof," but the truth is that we are still social. There are just new "rules" or "wishes" that go along with it.
Here is a brief commentary of the New Social Order that goes along with parenthood. Mommies and Daddies will agree, non-parents go and have fun without us, we kinda understand....
1.) Dinners out should start at 5 p.m. This way they don't conflict with naps, bedtimes, baths, or actually being hungry. Oh, and they have to be on Saturday or Sunday only.
2.) Don't expect to see us out before 10 p.m. or after 12:30 a.m. We have to make sure baby is put to bed, before leaving baby with the babysitter. I know it is a little ridiculous to think that someone else can't put baby to sleep, but it is true. And even if baby sleeps through the night baby will still be awake at 6:30 a.m. and won't understand that Mom and Dad were dirty stay outs.
3.) We need notice, lots of notice. Four weeks in advance is preferable. Sure you don't have to send a "save the date" for your 32nd birthday party four months in advance, but honestly it wouldn't hurt. Babysitters need to be arranged and Moms need to psyche themselves up and think about what they are going to wear for at least three weeks to be properly presentable.
4.) Visitors are always welcome. But don't actually expect to be entertained, feed, or paid attention to. Oh, and we breastfeeders may do it in front of you. Get over it, it is our house.
5.) Parties will start after 9 p.m., so that we don't have to breastfeed in front of you and so that baby is put to bed. But don't ring the doorbell or make any noise in general in fear of waking the baby. (See above too.)
6.) Canceling should be expected. Fevers, teething, vomit, poop, fire, or forgetting are all valid excuses. But childless people cannot cancel on us. EVER. We planned way too much for your ass to cancel on us.
