Once upon a time a great king owned a beautiful diamond. But there was a problem: the diamond had a flaw -- a scratch in the middle. It could never be given, worn, or admired.
So the king, who was used to having his subjects make him happy, sent word throughout his vast kingdom that great riches, position, and prestige would come to any individual who could take away the flaw. Well, they came, the best of jewelers and artists, even magicians -- not just from that kingdom, but from across the mountains and the seas. But, alas, no one could remove the scratch. The king despaired.
Then one day a young man arrived, somewhat optimistic about his chances for doing what no one else had been able to do. Oh, he heard the doubters and the scoffers. But he asked for a quiet place to work where he would not be disturbed.
Every day the king asked, "Well?"
And the determined young man would answer, "Not yet."
Days passed. Weeks passed. Then one afternoon the young man handed the diamond to the king. Slowly a smile spread across the king's face, and then a great "Yes!" ricocheted through the palace. The queen, the courtesans, and the knights crowded in for a closer look.
The scratch was still there! But the young man had carved a rose around it, using the scratch for a stem. *
This story best describes how the journey of grief can lead you to a place of healing as long as you are willing to travel. This article is about understanding grief and loss and how to comfort and self-soothe your wounds.
Grief is the heart's way of crying. The tears that are shed express the myriad of emotions of loss such as anger, sadness, despair, depression, fear, bargaining and anxiety. The way in which we grieve and mourn the loss of a loved one, a home, a career, your health or any meaningful part of yourself and your life is as unique and personal as each individual is.
Grief has its own rhythm. Each movement has its own set of moods. There is no right, there is no wrong, there is only the moment and in every second of our day do we think, then feel, and then act. When we are in a state of bereavement, depending on how recent the loss or how much time has passed does grieving change. Like a river, we experience different channels of water along the journey.
What is bereavement? Bereavement is the state of being after experiencing a loss. How a person will experience a loss depends on two criteria: length and intensity of the relationship.
What is grief? Grief is the physical and emotional reactions that one has in the state of bereavement. Depending on whether it is sudden death or long term illness there will also be states of shock, dismay, numbness and a sense of being surreal.
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