"I can't believe I am doing this," I said when I got the offer to work in the local library. My brother had heard they were looking for someone to make fliers and quarterly newsletters.
It was bad enough I had left my big fancy publishing gig behind when my daughter, Morgan was born. I had planned on going back to my position as managing editor at Working Mother magazine right away, but then I ran into medical problems on maternity leave, and I just couldn't get back. No, the irony did not escape me. But I knew I needed to make some cash so I got my real estate license and started working with my mom who is a broker, and we did OK. Then the market turned, and again, I needed to supplement my income. I was doing a little freelance writing but I was burned out.
However, when the library job came up I thought I had hit an all-time low. "C'mon, I used to manage a national women's consumer magazine and now you want me to edit a library newsletter--in the same town I grew up," I said to myself.
This whole kid/maternity thing had knocked me for a loop. I loved my daughter but I was feeling like I had really lost touch with who I was. When I was eighteen I envisioned that by my mid-thirties I would be a foreign correspondent for some big paper, be married to a hot, brilliant European guy and be living overseas somewhere. I couldn't wait to get out of this one horse town.
But here I was, back in my old home town, living ten minutes from my parents, and married to a local guy who loved the place. And now to top it all off, I was about to start working in the little library that I was way too cool for, way back, when I was eighteen. But we needed the cash, so I took it.
And guess what, I loved it. I God-honestly loved it. The women were not your old school-marm type librarians, they were warm and funny, and the things that would come out of their mouths...especially about Dr. McDreamy...oh my God. They made a big fuss over my little girl and made me feel like one of the team right away.
I learned Dreamweaver and they let me experiment with the library's website. Before long, I was creating marketing promotions and redesigning their newsletter. I even started a library blog and an email campaign for the patrons. Everything I did they thought was magic, and they sung my praises to the point of embarrassment. And it was exactly what I needed.
There is a huge amount of rejection in real estate and I see now that it took a toll on me. Add that to trading in my deadlines for diaper duty--and I hadn't realized it--but I had lost my edge. But now with this self-confidence boost, I started blogging, getting back in touch with old editor friends, developed an ecommerce site for my mom, made YouTube videos and podcasts, you name it. I was back in the game.
So when the offer came from a big fancy, web site company in NYC for an editorial position making serious cash, I couldn't turn it down. But I immediately mourned my little library job. Yes I was back in a bona fide career job again and excited about it, but it broke my heart to tell those library ladies I was leaving. Of course they couldn't have been more gracious about it, but I knew they were hurt.
It may not seem like much on paper, but I think of this stint at the library as my little oasis in a very uncertain period in my life. I didn't know it at the time, but someone had thrown me a life-preserver.
