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A friend, who lives in a small city a few hours away, had just found "the perfect" woman to provide care for her child.
"She's close to my work, the other kids are happy, the playroom is gorgeous, she's close to a park, she's experienced, and she just seems so warm and reassuring." All good.
"Have you signed a contract yet?" I asked, thinking that if they hadn't, I might offer to look it over for her, if she wanted my input.
"Oh, we won't need a contract. She's such a very nice woman, and she has terrific references."
You know, I run into this a lot more than you might expect, and it never ceases to surprise me. If you put your child into a daycare centre, there'd be a contract. AND a lot of other paperwork, too, probably. If you had a qualified nanny through an agency, there'd be a contract.
Whereas parents accept the necessity of contracts in the context of an agency or a centre, contracts with a neighborhood caregiver are sometimes perceived as putting a cold and cynical distance between the parties. What it boils down to is perception. They don't like the idea that caring for their child could be a job. In their heart of hearts, these parents want to believe that this woman is doing this strictly for love, that she's just got so much motherlove in her it bursts out all over, seeking for children to nurture.
It's an emotion-based response, and one which does neither party any favours. Of course you need a contract. Contracts do not cause conflict, they minimize it. Contracts make expectations explicit. Assumptions are minimized. When there is a disagreement as to who's to do what, the contract is the starting-point for the discussion -- but with a contract, such disagreements are far less likely to occur.
So, when you meet with your lovely neighborhood daycare lady, expect to see a contract. If she doesn't have one, suggest she provide one. Deal professionally with your caregiver, expect professionalism back. Love your caregiver, love that contract!
About the Author:
Mother of three (teens), step-mother of five (teens), home daycare operator of five (todders), and STILL SANE!! NOTHING is impossible...
I don't know about them being unenforceable, either. A caregiver friend of mine lost about $500 when clients completely flauted the contract. She took them to small claims court - and won. I've also seen caregivers put collection agencies onto deadbeat clients. With a signed contract, you have that option. They are not, probably, so enforceable when the issues are not very clear-cut and financial.
However, I still maintain that it's worth having one. Their primary purpose is not determining dispute resolution mechanisms, but *communication and clarification*, so you can avoid unexpected conflict of the "But I thought *you* were supposed to..." variety. (Nataly cites a good example: sick days. You can determine how many paid days your caregiver is to get -- and after that, she doesn't get paid.)
I don't think making these things clear in advance would make someone unhappy -- personally, they make me feel secure.
If the contract makes one of the parties unhappy, it's not a good contract, and the person who doesn't like the terms is foolish to sign on. If a parent wants to put something in my contract I can't abide by, I tell them that if this is critical to them, they'd be best off finding someone else. But, at my age and experience/confidence level, I'm not readily bullied. Nor do I bully.
I have had clients defauls on a contract. I should write about the take-the-cake couple one day. I didn't pursue it because I was glad to see the back of them! But, given my friend's success in small claims court, I probably could have.
But as I say, 99% of my contracts are with good, honest, reasonable people, who only want the expectations clarified up front so there are no unpleasant surprises later. THAT's what contracts are for. And mostly, that's exactly what they do.