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Life as an "Alpha Wife" to My Stay-At-Home-Husband

by million_beats  |  6051 views  |  5 comments  |        Rate this now! 

So, it's been four years since my husband last had a wage earning job. Granted, the job he does now is far more important--raising our son.

My husband is a stay-at-home-dad (SAHD). I, on the other hand, am the sole income earner. I work a full time and own my own business out of a private office in our home.

I respect each of our roles in our family, although initially, it was very difficult and at times it still can be very stressful.

We still have extended family that do not understand or respect my husband. They see him as being unemployed. And feel sorry for me that I "have" to work so hard and don't get to spend as much time with our son.

On the other hand, our son is happy and well adjusted and my husband is less stressed then he was when he worked in corporate America.

However, right now I feel frustrated. Here I am in the office, day by day, door usually closed as my occupation requires me to be on the phone for at least 4 hours a day. And, it dawned on me, "What does my husband do during the day?"

One should never think these thoughts.

Well, it turns out he gets up early every morning and prepares breakfast for my son and me. Then he and our two year-old son watch the morning shows (Micky's Playhouse and Little Einsteins). Usually, this is followed by some play time with crayons, cars, blocks, and other toys. Then around 11:30 a.m. is lunch time followed by a two-hour nap for our son. During the two hours our son is napping my husband does laundry, dishes, runs errands (I work in the home), and does general house/yard work. He's always around just as our son wakes up. They get a snack and then might go to the store or park together or do other activities.

When I get done with work for the day I typically get dinner going and spend some quality time with my son and husband.

A few things we've learned:

  • My husband has no problem changing diapers, but forget having him clean the bathroom. I clean the bathroom and all is well.
  • Laundry and even sorting landry and washing delicates separately is not a problem for my husband, but putting the clothing away in the drawers is a problem. After bitching about it long enough, I finally just agreed to put our sons and my things away.
  • When I go to the grocery store I just put things in the cart and go. But, no doubt my grocery bill is always much higher than if my husband goes. He always compares prices and uses coupons. After a heated discussion about my shopping habits, I finally agreed that my husband should do all the grocery shopping. He likes to do it and I just make out a list throughout the week for him. (And yes, he even buys my feminine hygene products.)
Things we still need to work on:

5 comments so far...

  • I'm new to workitmom. This is the first article that I've read on this site after signing up. Your title caught my attention. I enjoyed reading the article. My husband doesn't do bathrooms either. In exchange for me doing bathrooms he does all yard related work. I don't like working out in the yard so it's a good trade off.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Maria Victoria on 14th June 2008

  • this is fantastic! i am really glad to hear that i am not the only one married to a man who can DO laundry - but not fold and put away LOL! thank you for this!! i hope your relatives come around and realizes that he IS providing for the family, just in a different way :)

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Kate on 29th December 2007

  • My husband also stays home most of the week to care for our son, and I thank my lucky stars we can make it work. I leave the house knowing my son is with the only other person who loves him as much as I do. How can anyone fault a man for being a loving, attentive father!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by designmom on 28th December 2007

  • I really enjoyed reading this - thank you for sharing it. It sounds like you have a wonderful family -- and your extended family should get with the times and forget about those outdated male and female roles.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Nataly on 21st November 2007

  • Wow! I love you perspective and attitude. I have read quite a few things on the internet lately by SAHDs, but I haven't heard the Moms' points of view. Thank you for sharing this!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by mamajama on 20th November 2007