Member Articles

Although I haven't always been happy to be a WOHM, the unhappiness has usually surrounded something particular to my job at the time. I HAVE always known that I wasn't cut out for SAHM-hood, and I doubt I would have gone that route for any length of time.

I really like Elizabeth's comment - you tend to be happiest when you believe in what you're doing.

Great article, and great discussion in the comments too!

I am new to Work It! Mom and am so glad to see this as one of the first articles I've read. I am so tired of this debate in our society. It is not a "one size fits all" kind of thing. Some mothers are much more fit to be SAHM and some mothers are much more fit to be working moms. I, personally, fit into the much better as a working mom category. Would I like to be able to cut back a bit on my hours? Sure. However, it keeps me sane to have a job to go to everyday, to get out of the house and get some adult time and some time where I can work to grow myself and meet new challenges. And, this in no way negates how I feel about my children and how I try to do what is best for them. Being a working mom is best for them in many ways as I turn into inpatient, cranky Mom when I'm not working outside the home and working on me a bit (albeit, that I'm working on me by working for someone else :) ). I think what this issue boils down to what is best for each individual family. There's no magic fix such as "working moms are happier" or "SAHM are happier".

I agree that it's impossible to simply split the SAHM and Working Moms into happy vs. not happy. There are too many variable to account for. Are you working in a job you love? Is your husband supportive/helpful? Are your kids healthy/happy/normal (i.e, moms of sick or disabled kids are going to be much more stressed than others)? Do you have a strong support network around you? All of those factors will determine how "happy" you are.

I work full time outside of my home. My house is never clean like it used to be pre-baby. I never feel like I can spend enough time with my daughter. Right now, I'm fortunate enough to have my mom be our babysitter while we both work. It does ease my mind to know she's in very good hands, but my mom doesn't do things like I would. I'm not saying I'd like to be a SAHM forever, but for at least until she's 3 or 4. I think the first several years are the most important in developing who they are as an individual and personally I don't want to miss as much of that as I do now.

Thanks for all the comments!

designmom, you pose an awesome question - "would I be a better mother if I spent 12 hours a day with him instead of 3? Or am I a better mother because we have 2 incomes and great health insurance? "

Tonight my lil one told me that she couldn't go to bed because we hadn't had have enough cuddle time. *sigh*

Part of me wants to crawl into bed with her, but I know she'll do just that to me in a few hours. :D

I work full-time outside the home, and depending on what time of day you ask me, I love my life or I hate it. I would love to be able to stay home, but financially it is not an option.

And it isn't as though being a SAHM is a vacation - it's WORK, without the benefit of a paycheck. But like any job, it's not right for everyone.

I wonder how many other WOHMs out there, like me, convince ourselves that we're "happier" to have a full-time job because that's the only way we can kiss our babies goodbye and go off to work 5+ days a week without totally losing it? I come home just in time to give him dinner and put him to bed... would I be a better mother if I spent 12 hours a day with him instead of 3? Or am I a better mother because we have 2 incomes and great health insurance?

At the end of the day, we are all individual people with different needs, and we're all doing the best we can for ourselves and our children.