I have three children and for the first few months, with each kid, the transition period is extremely lonely. While I was home trying to figure things out I felt like I was missing out on things. When we had company over I felt this even more when I would go off to feed the baby.
When I returned to work it didn’t get any better. I was exhausted and struggling to keep my energy levels up. Going out after work was out of the question. Again, I felt like I was missing out. People were proposing business trips that I couldn’t bring myself to commit to. I was missing out on career opportunities. When it was noticeable that my feet were dragging, co-workers would say “Awh, rough night?”, they didn’t truly understand how I felt. They didn’t know me, my baby, or how I felt about my workload. I never felt truly understood.
Lastly, I had lost touch with myself. I felt isolated from myself. Yes, I had become a different person, but I had also forgotten what I liked to do. I couldn’t see that life was more about being a mother and an employee. I began questioning my priorities. Was I making the right choices?
So how do you break out and reconnect? By taking control and doing things on your own terms.
Start with doing something that YOU like to do. Your tastes change over time, so try out some of your old hobbies and see if they stick. If they don’t, use your resources to search for new ones like scanning friends on Facebook or Pins on Pinterest. Use your support system so you have time free of responsibilities.
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Reconnect with friends and family from the comfort of your own home. Pick a social media platform that most of them are on and start conversations. Post the funny thoughts you have at 2AM (come on, you know you have TONS of these).
Find a local moms group (try meetup.com) but don’t stop there. Find a buddy within the group who will push you to get out of the house and socialize. For instance, the other day my neighbor asked if I was going to a playdate at a local coffee shop. I had work to do, chores around the house, and I hadn’t really gotten ready for the day yet (yes, I was still in my PJs). She wasn’t sure she was going either (for the same reasons), but when I saw her car drive by my house I KNEW I had to go. We were ready in 5 minutes, and even though the baby was due to eat we went. The kids got a change of scenery, the baby was entertained, and I got inspiration for a project I’m working on!