Ah... the days that I longed for my entire life have arrived. I’m a wife. I’m a mother. I’m a homeowner. I have a college degree and a great job. I’m in grad school. Oh... I have two golden retrievers! I have everything I ever wanted. My life is perfect!
Well... maybe not perfect, but darn close. Well... maybe not "close" in the true sense of the word.
For as long a I can remember, I have aspired to be a woman who has it all. A Kelly Ripa of sorts. I wanted the dream job, lots of kids, and a super sexy hot, hot, hot husband. In real life, I'm still climbing the ladder toward my dream job, I only have two kids (give them a little chocolate, though, and they sound like 20), and my my husband is only "normal" sexy (have you seen Kelly Ripa’s man?). But, by the classic definition of “having it all” (family and a career) I must say, I have achieved my goals.
Why did no one ever tell me what having it all means to us non-Kelly Ripas of the world -- you know, the modern day, middle-class, still-losing-the-baby weight, SUV driving, keeping-up-with-the-Jones’s moms? I like to call us the Millennium Moms.
The Millennium Mom is several generations of woman all rolled up into one. She represents the 1950s with her desire to be the perfect wife. Like the mavericks of the 1960s, she is organic and orgasmic. She currently lives in a political world that uncannily mimics the 1970s. As a mother, her role models are the sitcom moms of the 1980s -- Angela Bower
, Claire Huxtable
, Maggie Seaver
, Elyse Keaton
. Those TV moms had it all (and perfect hair to boot). The Millennium Mom became a woman in the '90s and because of that she is powerful, competitive, and corporate.
If I am any indication, the Millennium Mom is also overworked, underpaid, and quite possibly going crazy from having it all. There’s not enough time in the world to successfully maintain it all. Every aspect of my life demands every second of my time. Even this fun little dog-shaped speaker I bought for my iPod needs me to constantly touch its nose. If I don’t, it gets sad. Who wants a sad dog speaker? I give as much as I possibly can to everything, but I’m spread so thin that it is never enough. I could be better at my job if I didn’t have a family and I could be a better wife and mother if I didn’t have a job. Just imagine how happy my iPod dog would be if I had neither! Now that would be the life -- just me and my iDog!