Member Articles

Q: We're having a baby! Please send us a free sample of each one of your products and we will let you know if we are interested in making a purchase. (I have hundreds of products!)

Q: I am calling to tell you I found your product for 50 cents cheaper. Why are you ripping people off? (And exactly how much did you spend to call me long distance to tell me that?)

Q: Can you tell us where we can buy all of your products cheaper? An itemized list will be fine. (Would you prefer that alphabetically, or arranged by price?)

Q: We bought your diapers a year ago, used them and they no longer fit. Can we return them for a full refund, and will you pay the shipping to send them back? (Of course we will! And don't bother washing them before you ship them back. We like old, poopy diapers. It gives us something to do in our off-hours!)

Q: We bought our diapers from somewhere else. Can we return them to you for a refund? (Sure - it gives us a jump on the competition if we take back their products.)

Q: I have a Canadian friend in Surrey, B.C. Could you call her and tell her I am coming to visit? (Do you think she would mind if I call her collect?)

Q: Send me a complete list of all your suppliers -- with phone, email, and fax numbers, please -- as I am starting a competing business. (I actually get a call like this at least once a week!) Q: I've taken some of your (copyrighted!) ideas off your web page and put them on mine. Can I use your pictures too? I don't have time to take my own. (Why did she even bother to ask permission for using the pictures, after admitting that she had stolen my ideas and was using them as her own?)

And my all-time favorite...

Q: I like to wear diapers and use them. Could you call me long distance so we can discuss my fetish at length? (Eeeeewwwww!?!?!)

I hope I don't offend anyone with this bit of humour, but it is wearying and time-consuming to constantly have to answer all these questions. I have to laugh about it... But I still love my job!!