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Dealing with Bullies in Elementary School

Arm your child with "Me Power" skills

by mykidcanlearn  |  25621 views  |  3 comments  |        Rate this now! 

Bullies come in all shapes and sizes. Some are really obvious -- the loud, obnoxious kids that have no problem running right over the nice kid in the next seat on the bus. We have all told our kids to just stay away from these types of mean children. But have we taught our kids how to handle the bullying that is happening right within their own circle of friends? Is your child prepared to handle being pushed around by who we think is “the sweet kid”? It's this not -so-obvious bully that often falls just under the radar at school that we need to prepare our children for -- especially our girls.

Girls -- they can be so darned mean. Our daughters want so badly to fit in to what can often be a very cut-throat environment, and at an alarmingly young age. On a daily basis they are hearing from their “best friends” things like:

“Don’t talk to Sally today, she is stupid and I want everyone to be mad at her. If you do talk to her I won’t sit with you at lunch.”

“You can’t pick who plays, I pick the group, remember?”

“Lets make a secret club -- since clubs aren’t allowed at recess. Just don’t tell anyone, OK? You can be in our club, but you have to ignore Julie like us, OK?”

“Hurry up and get to the tire swing, and if Sue shows up, tell her it’s taken and she can’t play.”

Those are all actual statements made to a third grade girl by her “best friend,” telling her who she could and could not be friends with, what she could or could not do, every day in school for more than a year! Her mother found a note one day, written by her daughter, who was begging her "best friend" to be friends with her again. When her mom asked why the “best friend” was mad at her, the little girl said, “Because I sat with Sue at lunch yesterday, so she won’t talk to me -- and she got the rest of the girls to ignore me, too.”

This subtle bullying is running rampant in our elementary school classrooms. Children need to learn how to handle situations like these, and the way to prepare them is to teach them about “Me Power.”

Me Power is a person's personal power over themselves in situations, and how they handle their reaction to others. It can help children to naturally stand up for themselves and for what they believe. Children must be taught never to give away their Me Power by allowing another child to tell you what you can and cannot do. If you do, you allow others to direct your friendships and, worst of all, you participate in situations that do not feel right or good to you.

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mykidcanlearn [URL=""]Parenting and Learning Disabilities[/URL]A place for parents of children with learning disabilities.

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3 comments so far...

  • Okay listen up concerned parents with regards to the "Bully." Walking up to the bully before school and telling him not to touch your daughter or son might not work and could make the matter worse. Do this instead:

    1. Talk to the Principle and explain on your child's behalf what exactly happened. The Principle will then say, "We are taking the necessary steps to prevent further issues" -BULLSHIT they are! They are taking the necessary steps to prevent the school from being held liable and nothing more.

    2. Tell the Principle that this form of behavior is "Bullying." My God, school officials dread this new buzz word.

    3. The Principle will then tell you that the school will now keep a close eye on the "Bully" and your child. Again, "Bullshit!" There are way too many things going on during a normal school day and there is simply not enough eyes to watch these kids.

    4. Next, tell the Principle "I am fearful that if this kid is not removed from the class or school he or she may increase the violence against my child."

    5. Now excuse yourself from the Principle's office, step outside and call the local Police to the school to report a "non-emergency incident report." Explain to the Officer that your child has been assaulted/battered/threatened and you fear for their safety. GET IT DOCUMENTED that you notified your local authorities. You are not pressing charges, you are simply getting it documented by someone other than a school official.

    Parents outside along with these lazy school officials will peak out of their mini-blinds and will defecate in their pants as your disclose the "Bully" incident to the Officer. This will now send the Principle into Def-con 5 mode and they will now watch your kid like a high notoriety case.

    Simply telling the Principle you want this to stop will not always work. What makes the "Bullying" stop is the threat of their job being in jeopardy or bad publicity being placed onto the school.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Jennifer on 7th September 2012

  • I am glad that schools are taking this seriously. When I was growing up, this behavior was permitted and if you complained about it-things got worse.

    As a result, we can see this behavior in thirty and fortysomethings today...

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Uhura on 19th February 2008

  • Thanks for this. You are right that the peer pressure is crushing for kids when they're isolated in that school environment and, frankly, I think it's an unhealthy thing to have all those kids in groups with minimal supervision/interaction with adults. It really lets that "Lord of the Flies" behavior run rampant. I'm glad that schools seem to be taking it more seriously than they did when I was growing up!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Diane on 13th February 2008