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Here are some ways a child could respond in the above situations:

Bully: “Don’t talk to Sally today, she is stupid and I want everyone to be mad at her. If you do talk to her I won’t sit with you at lunch.”

Response: “I really like to sit with you at lunch, but I don’t feel comfortable with how you are treating Sally. If you are mad at Sally, you should talk to her about it. I think we better not sit together today.”

Bully: “You can’t pick who plays, I pick the group, remember?”

Response: “I really like playing this game, but you are excluding others. I want Sally to play and if you are excluding her, I’ll go play with her over at the swings.”

Bully: “Lets make a secret club -- since clubs aren’t allowed at recess. Just don’t tell anyone OK? You can be in our club, but you have to ignore Julie like us, OK?”

Response: “It sounds fun to be in a club, but that’s exclusion. I’ll pass.”

Bully: “Hurry up and get to the tire swing, and if Sue shows up, tell her it’s taken and she can’t play.”

Response: “I’m not going to pass that message on to Sue. Everyone can use the tire swing, we just have to take turns.”

It is such a relief for kids when they learn that they have permission to stick up for themselves. We have spent so much time teaching our kids to “be nice” that sometimes we forget to teach them that being nice to themselves is just as important!

Remember these important tips:

1.) Talk to your child regularly about their friendships. Keep it casual: Who did they play with at recess? Who did they sit with at lunch?

3.) Talk to your child about Me Power. Give them examples like the ones in this article. Ask them for their opinion. Ask them how they might handle these situations -- what would they say?

4.) Trust your gut. If you feel your child is being bullied, get help! Call the school’s guidance counselor to discuss it. Ask the teacher to check in your child. Make sure they have someone to talk to at school if they need to.