Member Articles

It felt so intoxicating to be using my mind again and getting positive feedback for my contribution to the company; I quickly became a workaholic and soared up through the ranks at work. After outgrowing that position, I took a job at an exciting dot-com start-up, moved the kids into a great daycare in a downtown high rise, and buried myself in work for 10 to 12 hours a day. Though we were making a nice six-figure income, we were broke trying to maintain a lifestyle we could not afford and buying things to fill the emptiness inside of us.

The Self-Employed Klutz Phase. After a couple of years of being a workaholic, tensions at home had reached a boiling point. In a last-ditch effort to save everything, we decided to walk away from the empty, work-centered life that we had created, move to the middle of nowhere, and try working for ourselves.

It seemed like a good idea, but the reality of not having a paycheck whatsoever hit hard and fast. My husband thought that he should decide what type of business we should start and decided that he should call the shots in this new venture. He would give me tasks to do each day that I resented with a passion. Nothing was working. We were broke, miserable, and blamed each other for the situation. We had grown almost completely apart at this point and the relationship had become volatile and unhealthy. The worst part of all of this was that I was trapped in the middle of nowhere with no money to take my kids and leave.

The Liberated Entrepreneur Phase. I finally came to terms with the fact that if I was ever going to live the life I desired, I could not count on him or anyone else to make that happen -- I had to do it myself. It was liberating and terrifying at the same time. Just because we had suffered with money problems for years didn’t mean that I had to continue suffering for the rest of my life. In a moment of wonderful clarity, I realized that I alone had complete control over the destiny of myself and my kids.

I began building my own businesses and they quickly became more successful and more reliable than his. As my businesses grew, so did my confidence and my options for the future. I was no longer trapped in the marriage simply because I couldn’t support myself and the kids. We eventually parted ways and I moved into a better, happier home. I put the kids into a great school district and could afford after school activities to enrich their lives.

Being self-employed meant that I could write the story of my own life. I’m there at 2:40 p.m. to pick the kids up from school. I never need to ask an employer for permission to leave work and attend a classroom performance or a school award ceremony in the middle of the day. My house is the base where the kids gather after school. I can walk away from my computer any time I want to play Trouble, or Operation, or answer a question, or break up a quarrel, or make a snack, or kiss a cut, or teach a life lesson.