The bully on the playground, in the classroom, or in the boardroom forces you to play or behave his way. Everyone is afraid of the bully, so he gets his own way over and over again. But what happens when someone decides to confront the bully? More times than not, the bully runs away or backs down.
The same is true for fear – the bully that keeps you stuck in mediocrity and inside your comfort zone. What would happen if you faced down your fear? Is it possible the fear would go away? What might you find on the other side of your fear?
One of my clients told me that she was telling her friend about hiring me as a coach. Her friend asked about her coaching sessions. My client shared a bit about what goes on in a coaching session and her friend responded, “I don’t think I could do that – it is too scary.” My client said that it felt scary to her, too, but she decided she was going to face down her fear (the bully) and find out what was on the other side of it. She believed she was worth standing up for. She told her friend that she, too, would be willing to stand up to her bully when she was ready to believe that she was worth the risk.
Are you allowing the bully to hold you back? Maybe you want to get that degree -- what is stopping you from getting it? Fear of failure? Or maybe you want to find a job that really speaks to your soul? Are you too afraid to leave your current job? Or maybe you are like my client’s friend – admires her friend for hiring a coach but too afraid to do so herself.
Let’s do an exercise. On a piece of paper list all the things that you would like to do but are too afraid to do. Now prioritize the list, making the most frightening item number one, etc.
OK, now pick three items from the list. These are the bullies that you will face in the next month. Remember that confronting the bully makes him run away – so if you confront that of which you are afraid, the fear will go away. And if the fear of having that which you want is holding you back from it, by confronting it, you will have that which you desire.
Wouldn’t it be great to have at least three things on your list – or at least a strategy for obtaining these things within a month’s time? How would that make you feel? On top of the world?