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Honey, You Need Help!

You don't have to go it alone

by Jamee Tenzer, ACC  |  1444 views  |  1 comment  |        Rate this now! 

Have you ever looked in the mirror to find a very tired woman? This morning, perhaps? Me, too. When I looked into the mirror this morning, I found a happy woman with a full life, a great job, wonderful people to share it all with and bags as big as watermelons, under my eyes.

It's not that I can't do everything that needs to be done. I can, as long as I don't sleep. But not sleeping leads to a cranky version of myself that does not go over well with the rest of the family, so that's not an option. So, I tell myself; "Fine, just eliminate items from your to-do list." But what can go? My daughter needs a costume for the talent show and the cat needs to go to the vet. I have three client meetings today and I am hell-bent on sitting down and having dinner as a family tonight. It will be our first family dinner in a week! All of it is important. All of it is right now. So what is a woman to do?

Honey, sometimes we need HELP! Do you feel you have to do it all yourself or that you are the only one who can do it, "right?" Sometimes I will think that if I give in and ask for help, I've lost the battle. I want to believe I can bring home the bacon AND fry it up in a pan! Why? Cuz' I'm a W-O-M-A-N? No, because I'm C-R-A-Z-Y!

So, what are the items on your list that you don't have to do yourself? Can someone clean your house? Can someone pick up your kids from school? Can your older child help a younger child with homework? Can your husband pick up the dry cleaning on the way home? What are some small ways that you can get help, because honey, you need it! And you know what, your family needs you to get help. Because, if you are overwhelmed, you can't really be with them in the way you want to be. What could be more important than that?

Quick tips for getting the help you need:

1.) Identify one or two things you do, that you don't care about doing. Emptying the dishwasher, doing the laundry?

2.) Brainstorm some solutions with your family and ask them to help.

3.) Look at your budget. Can you afford to spend some money each week to make your life easier? How much is five hours worth to you?

4.) Notice if you are resisting getting help. Do you think having help makes you less of a woman, wife, and mother? If so, maybe it's time to think again.

About the Author

Jamee Tenzer is an ICF Certified Coach - - with a specialty in coaching busy, professional women who are raising children. She works with women to create balance, ease and humor within the realities of schedules, logistics and �to-do� lists.

Read more by Jamee Tenzer, ACC

1 comment so far...

  • That last point resonates with me. Back when I taught prenatal classes, I warned the soon-to-be moms against the feminine trait of painting themselves into a corner. If they stepped in to "help" their husband every time he did anything with the baby, they only made him feel incompetant, and he would soon stop helping -- and then they'd soon be resenting being stuck with it all.

    It's an easy trap to slip into, and it goes beyond just childcare.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by MaryP on 27th March 2008