3. Letting go of guilt, worry, comparisons, standards, judgment and perfectionism. Okay, I know this is a tall order, but it's so true. As new moms we can get so caught in what the experts say we should be concerned about, and how others are doing it, and what are the right ways versus the wrong ways to doing things. For many of us, we carry over the perfectionism that came in so handy as a professional, but which will drive us towards insanity if we hold on to as moms. There is no handbook for motherhood. And those books out there that claim they are are only based on someone else's experience (just like this blog entry). The relationship between mother and baby changes, evolves and grows so much throughout the first couple of years. To expect that we will know exactly what to do and how to respond in this new relationship and this new role...well, that really is insanity.
As I have continued to practice (I'll admit that sometimes I fall off the bandwagon) and follow these tips over the past couple of years, I have felt my confidence and enjoyment as a mother increase. I have also found that I am less concerned and judgmental about how other mothers are choosing their journey. For one thing I know for sure is that this is all just a series of stages--a blip on the life time line. And I want to look back this series of stages, called motherhood, with feelings of joy, peace and gratitude and know that I did the best I could...and enjoyed it along the way!
2 comments so far...
She believes that the transition to motherhood is particularly difficult for professional women who were autonomous and independent before becoming mothers. She suggests that our society does very little to prepare women for the huge changes, challenges, and trauma of new motherhood. And we don't address the dark side much at all - the times you wish you hadn't done this, when you don't much want to be around this baby any more, when you're angry, when you resent your situation. Because those things? They happen to nearly every woman. In fact, they're normal.
But who tells you that?
Think of all the guilt we could avoid if we were better prepared!
Flag as inappropriate Posted by MaryP on 25th August 2007
Flag as inappropriate Posted by Florinda Pendley Vasquez on 22nd August 2007