Call me what you will, but I am declaring a ban on toys. My kids are going to learn what it’s like to get socks and underwear in their Christmas stockings. If they do get a toy for Hanukkah, you better believe there will be “some assembly required” and they will get it piecemeal over the eight days. It will be a new tradition; on the last night of Hanukkah, you light the eighth candle and build your present! It will be great. Most important, no more birthday parties -- at least not every year.
And, to all of our extended friends and family, for the last time STOP buying my kids toys! I don’t care if my children’s little faces fill with disappointment when they open your card that reads “I deposited $25 into your 529.” I will send you a picture when they graduate college, with a caption that says “Thanks to you, I’m debt free!” I would estimate that your cumulative gifts over the years add up to at least $2,000. If that had been invested in a growth fund with an average annual return of 10 percent, today it would be worth a million dollars. Ok... anyone with a financial calculator caught my little exaggeration. It would be worth about $3,500, but that’s a lot more valuable than the bins of depreciating toys in my basement!
NO MORE TOYS! (Please!)