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Why Accepting Yourself Signals Readiness for Change & Enjoyment

Try this to reduce UFS (unidentified frustrating stress)!

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"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change."

~ Carl Rogers

Doesn't it seem odd that before you or I can truly use all our energies for enjoying life to the fullest, we probably need to accept how nad who we are right now?

Drs. Sherven & Sniechowski tell us about this concept in their book The New Intimacy.

This is how it works for you:

By maintaining a false and distorted connection with the image you are trying to portray, rather than being your real self, you are devoting your energy to the task of deception. We only have so much energy! Typically, this means you are neglecting your true self, and building a block of resistance to true, real, and healthy inner change because of the energy you are using up on your relationship with your false self!

Sometimes, we are so into keeping up appearances, we begin to believe them ourselves, and we bury or disguise our true selves to the point where we're hiding out and may not even know where to look to find it. This can cause huge amounts of UFS (unidentified frustrating stress)!Have you ever seen this happen to someone?

In the spirit of analogy, and since I am dogsitting for my mom, I'm reminded of my mom's dog, Abby. She is a spunky, black-as-night lab with a totally sweet personality. If you've ever had a puppy, you know they need almost constant watching over when they are on the loose or they can get into big danger quickly--especially if you have toddlers who love to "play" with puppy:)

When Abby was a fuzzy little pup and she was being potty-trained, mom had my brother fashion a little light to go on Abby's collar because no one could see where she was in the backyard when she was put out at night to do her "business." She is probably the only color of canine kids can play hide-n-go seek with.

Just as Abby needs to have a light for others to see where she is, we need to have a light inside of ourselves so we can see who we really are. While it might call on us to have courage and a few extra minutes of quiet "me time," to see what is truly inside of us, it also means we are ready to move ahead and make life what we really want it to be (i.e. spending energy on ENJOYING rather than on "masking and contume design").

While it might call on us to have courage and a few extra minutes of quiet "me time," to see what is truly inside of us, it also means we are ready to move ahead

and make life what we really want, so you can spend your energy ENJOYING rather than masking and costume designing...

2 comments so far...

  • Thank you Florinda! Your comments are very wise and I appreciate them very much :)

    Annemarie

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by on 27th August 2007

  • "Sometimes, we are so into keeping up appearances, we begin to believe them ourselves, and we bury or disguise our true selves to the point where we're hiding out and may not even know where to look to find it. This can cause huge amounts of UFS (unidentified frustrating stress)!Have you ever seen this happen to someone?" Yes, it was me, several years ago. It's taken lot of work and change, both inside and out, to move beyond that place, but it's been much better since I did. I think we do this because change is scary - the "normal" you live with might not be the greatest, but at least you know how it works. Turning on that "light" is easier if you have some support - family, good friends, even a professional - but it is a necessary first step. Just don't forget there may be many steps, and they may be slow ones. Good article!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Florinda Pendley Vasquez on 27th August 2007

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