Member Articles

First conversation with my relative, when she was only married four months, with no children: “I really want to get my masters degree in nursing but my husband does not let me,” she said.

Second conversation, four years later, while she was staying home with two young children: “I really want to get my Masters, but how can I do that with two little kids?” she said.

“There are many online programs available for you, why don’t you look into that,” I suggested. “Yeah, it’s not possible with two little children,” she responded.

My conversation with a friend about her friend: “My friend has a young child, no husband and lives with her mother. There is nothing she can do. She does not have anyone to watch her child but her mother. Her mother is now sick and cannot watch her child for long hours. She does not have the money to go to school or get extra childcare. She is stuck,” said my friend.

"No, not everyone gets things through research. She is stuck.” she insisted.

My conversation with my neighbor: “I’ve wanted to sell my photography, but my husband never let me. He always criticized me and never let me spend the money necessary to do my dream job,” she complained.

“OK, OK, I will, but I can’t right now because I have to work extra hours and I will be going on vacation soon,” she responded coldly. She never went.

Quit blaming others for your inability to believe in yourself. That is what it all really comes down to.

Let’s analyze conversation number one: First she blames her husband for not getting her masters degree; later she blames the children. Now, is that nice?

It’s true that the husband maybe discouraging her, because it may make his life more difficult because of the extra responsibility he will have. However, if she really wanted and believed that she could do it, would she wait for someone’s permission?

Let’s analyze conversation number two. OK, it’s unfortunate that the father of the child is not around and the woman's mother is ill. But we are human beings and there is something amazing about us: We have the ability to adapt to any situation that comes our way. Eventually, she learns to deal with it. Life moves on. So it is not the ill mother or whatever else she blames, it’s her. She does not believe that she can do it. So she does not bother. But to justify her actions, she blames her family members. Now, that’s just mean.