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Are You a Single Mom Who Wears a Wedding Ring to Work?

Why do you -- or don't you -- do it?

by Rachel Sarah  |  1212 views  |  6 comments  |        Rate this now! 

Single Mom at Work blogger Kristin Darguzas wrote a post at Work It, Mom! recently that caused quite an uproar around the blogosphere: the fact that she wears a wedding ring to work.

Yes, you heard that right: Kristin is not married. She says that "business acquaintances are much more at ease when they learn I have a child if I am wearing my ring on my wedding finger."

I wasn't the only single mom who balked when I read that. Don't get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of Kirstin’s blog, but at first, I wanted to fly up to Canada and set this woman straight. We've come so far, as single moms in the workplace, I wanted to tell her. Please don't set us back.

But as the days passed, I found that I needed to back up and listen to single moms like Kristin, who also work in the corporate world. After all, I work in a nook off my kitchen. I wear sweatpants to work! I occasionally have meetings in San Francisco -- mostly with other mom-editors in the publishing industry. (In fact, if I'm wearing a ring, it's a Singelringen.)

I wrote a post on my own blog and, within hours, single moms around the web were speaking up, in empathy with Kristin:

"I don’t think it’s anyone’s business if a woman is married, divorced or single," writes single mom blogger Kat Wilder. "I believe it’s her right to wear a ring if it works for her, for whatever reason."

One HR Manager says: "We live in a society that still discriminates.. discrimination on the basis of family status is alive and well… I recently did wear a ring to a job interview. It was a last second decision to wear just a simple band. There was no point losing out on a job, or a promotion -- on a principle."
Single mom Jeanie asks if it's really Kirstin's responsibility to "change for the whole of society."

Loralee chimes in: "Why should Kirstin have to carry the banner of single motherhood if it isn’t what she wants to do?"

Now it's my turn to put myself in Kristin's shoes -- uh, heels.

Do you know any single moms who wear wedding rings to work? Are you one? Why do you (or don't you) do it?

About the Author

Rachel Sarah is the author of "Single Mom Seeking: Play Dates, Blind Dates, and Other Dispatches from the Dating World" and the single-mom columnist at Lifetime TV. She blogs at Singlemomseeking.com.

Read more by Rachel Sarah

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6 comments so far...

  • Single Mom Working in a Chemical Plant - when my husband left, the hounds went on the hunt! I have started telling the men I work with (and I work with all men) that my husband and I are working things out just to stop the looks, comments and offers. After reading about wearing a ring, I think I might start to just to stop the constant questions and "status update" requests. With a ring on my finger, I can talk about my daughter all day without anyone commenting about my marital status. No ring = nosy people.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by SuperPinkMom on 4th August 2009

  • On the other side of this argument, I am a married mother who does not wear a wedding band. I have not felt discrimination because of this, but I also do not work in the corporate world. I feel sorry for this mother who felt so much pressure that she wore one to make her life easier.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Adina on 29th September 2008

  • I am a single mom (my daughter is 10 weeks old). And even when I was pregnant I wore a ring and I am not married or engaged. I was tired of getting the looks and stares when people noticed I was pregnant with "NO RING". I work for the military and I used to be involved in a lot of Volunteer work on the base with kids. I was informed that I couldnt volunteer there anymore because I was sending the worng message to the kids. If you work somewhere that you do not get dicriminated against for being a single mom, that is great... but unfortuantly that is not how it works for me. So I do what I can, by wearing a ring, to make my day a little easier.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by MaManda on 11th August 2008

  • Great call It'swrite4u!... I think Kristin's point (tell me if I'm wrong Kristin!) is that she wouldn't want to date any of the men with whom she's working... so she slips the ring off when she leaves the office.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Rachel Sarah on 2nd July 2008

  • @Rachel Great article, as usual.
    @Itswrite4u Being bold about your current status has it's upside. The Singelringen Rachel mentions is worn on the right hand or around the neck to avoid any confusion on the left hand. That ring confirms both that you are unattached and that you feel good about yourself.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by itsdifferent4girls on 2nd July 2008

  • Well, I only wear my right hand ring. That is only because I just can't wear a ring on my left hand. Why? Because I am saving that ring finger for the man who will ask me to be his wife and the ring finger will get a lovely surprise. LOL! All jokes aside, I don't want to appear married. I want to appear unattached, because I am right now.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Itswrite4u on 2nd July 2008

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