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3.) Assume that you know who is “right” or “wrong.” It’s impossible, from the outside, to understand someone else’s relationship. “Technically, I left my husband,” a friend told me, “but I thought he was the one who abandoned our marriage. I didn’t appreciate being viewed as the one who wasn’t willing to do any work to keep it going.”

4.) Insist on being given a reason. People can’t always sum up their reasons neatly, and they may want to keep their reasons private. Don’t probe for explanations or pry for details.

What are some other things to say -- or not to say? What am I overlooking?