Member Articles

Hello Leslie: Your article is both refreshing and true in every essence. I left the father of my two beautiful and remarkable daughters to escape his abusive, narcissistic and controlling poison. I didn't leave because I was too lazy to resolve conflict or forgive for past mistakes - it was truly necessary to have an emotionally bright future other than one with a white straight jacket and mind numbing medication. I raised our children for 10 years at home while he grew a very successful business. I went back into the work force and experienced exactly what you refer to in the professional world - a few true friends remain and my family has exited stage left due to their beliefs that once married with children - you stay no matter what. At the age of 43 I continue to pursue a what I hope will be successful career and do so without resources and can honestly say that despite not knowing how I will pay the bills from one day to the next I am a stronger person and positive role model for my children who are loved and supported. It's not an act of a marter - simply put I love them to bits and have committed to ensuring they have a future with people in their lives who treat them with respect and dignity.

It's a shame that society doesn't respect the strength and courage it takes to start all over again and endure the road blocks that pop up at the worst possible time. I suppose you really have to experience it first hand to be void of the ignorace that allows one to cast judgement with ease.

I commend all women who have made the choice to put themselves and children first and maintain the strength and courage to aciheve thier respective goals, dreams and fulfill their responsibilities to family and community. We all wake up in the middle of the night with worries - to do it on your own and maintain positive momentum is essentially at the opposite end of a scale that is incapable of measuring the benefits for personal self development/fulfillment when you finally reach that night when you wake up after a full nights sleep - and your fabulous children have made you a coffee just the way you don't like it and remind you why you find the strength to move on - and look forward the day when your personal adventure becomes an experience that allows you to have sympathy for those who once judged you (and possibly made you feel like your choice could be a "possible" error....after all they do have all the material things in life that provide comfort and they get to be there when the kids come home from school....and the house has a pool.....all of which was once mine....hmmm) can't see or relate to any other than what they know and make them feel cofortable.

I would rather be in my "will do for now" apartment and an overwhelming amount of responsibilities than be owned by someone or a society that has accepted me because "I'm just like them".....

Thank you for your time and best wishes to all -

p.s. do you every post information on how to deal with narcissitic ex's who are negatively impacting the childrens development in self esteem/confidence? I know the narcisstic one is a complicated species but I would welcome and appreciate any information or advise.

Sarah