Member Articles

Write an article!

Is your relationship affecting your health?

10 signs that you are in a toxic relationship

by Leslie Miller, LICSW  |  3309 views  |  0 comments  |        Rate this now! 

Everyone has been in a relationship that for one reason or another ended badly. There are relationships that end due to poor timing, differences in fundamental core values, and basic incompatibility. Toxic relationships are deemed as such because they have a very negative affect on one's emotional and physical health. Several recent studies have concluded that, over time, the effects of hostility and excessive conflict can contribute to a sharp increase in health problems, including heart attacks (American Journal of Psychosomatic Medicine, 2007). If you are in relationship with a high level of conflict, you may be at increased risk for stress related health problems.

Are you in a Toxic Relationship? Here are a few signs:

1.) Your partner belittles your accomplishments, or is overtly critical of your thoughts, actions, mannerisms, style of dress and even your family members. Your partner may be chronically angry or moody. This is a way to gain power and control by putting you down. Don't rationalize this very toxic behavior.

2.) Your partner suffers from excessive perfectionism. You find that you are always striving for perfection that falls short of his/her expectations. This can become a power struggle about anything from making the bed to your sex life. If you frequently worry about whether or not you are good enough for your partner, stress of this type can be very toxic to your overall sense of well-being. Do you really want to spend your life worrying about how well you measure up to someone whom you can never seem to please?

3.) Your partner abuses drugs or alcohol. This is a major deal breaker. You won't ever get away from this problem unless your partner has a real commitment to their recovery with a MINIMUM of one year of clean and sober time. If you are in a relationship with someone who refuses to get help for their problem, you need to seriously consider leaving. Without professional help, you will live a life of chaos and drama that will always center on your partner's drug/alcohol problem. You will lose your sanity and your sense of self to this person's problem.

4.) Your partner is a bully, either verbally or physically. Don't walk... run! Your partner needs help, and most likely, you do, too. If you are in a relationship with someone who is hurting you either psychologically, or physically, seek professional help immediately.

5.) Your partner is addicted to internet pornography. This is a way for someone to opt out of interpersonal relationships altogether. You will be living with a phantom who may appear to function normally, but is completely checked out. Living alone may be preferable to living with someone who does not have the capacity to be fully engaged with you.

About the Author

Ms. Miller is a parenting and relationship coach at

Read more by Leslie Miller, LICSW

0 comments so far...

No comments yet.