"I see your website and read all your articles and I am telling you that you need a good partner to do it all," my husband said. "You accomplished everything you did because of me,” he continued and watched for me to argue back and say something like, “I don’t need anyone, I did it because of me, not you..."
Instead I said, “Yes, you are right. Everything I have is because of you. I ask for your support, you give. I ask for you to believe in me, you do. I ask for you to allow me to invest money in the business, you do. I ask you to do household chores, you do. I ask you to watch the children, wake up in the middle of the night, change the diapers, you do. I ask you to accept me for who I am, you do. I ask you to respect my big dreams, my ambition, you do.”
I have now come to realize that it is possible for women to have professional success and a family if and only if men stop defining women's roles. Men need to start respecting and accepting ambitious women. Men need to start contributing to caring for children. Men have to start contributing to doing household chores.
We have seen divorce rates rise as women joined the work force. Women became able to support themselves but still had to do most of the household chores and child care. Men continued to identify roles and ignored the fact that women are now working and still expected them to do all the work around the house. What do we need men for? So the divorce rate rose.
But we want a partner in our lives. So now we have to have men contribute equally or more. We need men to acknowledge and respect the capabilities of a woman and allow her to grow whatever way she desires. Perhaps then we will see a change and say, yes, women can have all three -- career, husband and children.
Do you think this change is possible?
4 comments so far...
Flag as inappropriate Posted by vib on 1st August 2008
Flag as inappropriate Posted by Debra on 30th July 2008
I am not about bragging and saying "have it all." I realize that we need practical solutions for juggling work and family life. So I believe that there is no reason for women to compromise their ambition after they have children unless it's what they really want. I believe that the society needs to realize women's potential and let her grow rather then discourage them. So women will no longer have to choose between career and having a family.
Flag as inappropriate Posted by vib on 28th July 2008
Flag as inappropriate Posted by Walking In My Sleep (Laurie Storey-Manseau) on 28th July 2008