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Should parents play along? Your child’s newfound friend may join you occasionally or on a consistent basis. Invisible pals come in all kinds of shapes, sizes, names, ages, and habits, and they are not always people. Mocking or barring the fantasy will most likely encourage the behavior or the child to keep his “friend” a secret.  The authors of What To Expect: The Toddler Years point out that children who use creativity to cope with life changes or problems need to express themselves. Creativity in the form of imaginary playmates allows children to reveal things they would otherwise be unable to verbalize. 

Allow your child to decide how much you can engage in his or her fantasy. Respect your child’s space and let her take the lead. If the “friend” often rides in the family car, don’t ask if she’s joining you today; wait to be told. Once given the OK by your child, it’s fine to talk to or about the imaginary friend, but it’s is important for children to remain in control of the fantasy.  Interfering too much can cause friction, anger or power struggles.

Sometimes children use their pals as excuses for poor or destructive behavior.  For example, if your child says he didn’t spill the drink or break the dish, but "Betsy" did, don’t go along with this ploy.  Instead, try to get your child to take ownership without bringing the imaginary friend into the conflict.  If the child is relentless, suggest that both of them apologize, clean up, go to their rooms. If your child acts out in destructive ways through an imaginary friend too often, consider consulting a mental health professional.

Goodbye, "Betsy." Although there are exceptions, in most cases, imaginary friends disappear after a few months or years. Lisa noticed Hannah hadn’t mentioned Betsy in weeks, but when she did, her mother simply said, “You haven’t been playing with Betsy much lately.”

“Oh, she’s been busy, but it’s OK. I have Jonas to keep me busy,” Hannah answered with a big, knowing grin.