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But this A&F incident has made me acutely aware of my real-world uncoolness and that my cool perception about myself is purely provided by the cloak of anonymity that the Internet provides. On the Internet, I am a "with-it," techno-savvy cool person who drops the right lingo and uses the right acronyms.

So as this "15-year-old geek" I quickly purchased my A&F sweatpants and headed across the plaza to the Starbucks for a soy latte with other 30++ year olds, where I can be cool again.