Member Articles

Oh! That would've pissed me off too! I've found that once I became a mommy, men didn't know what to talk to me about anymore. My whole identity changed. To them, I was simply a mother. I can also relate to working with all men. I worked for the Governor doing criminal justice budgets in my first career. At a very young age, all of 22, I had a lot of responsibility and influence. Because my direct supervisor was a total slacker, even more so. That said, my male supervisor and I were meeting with the agency heads of the Organized Crime Task Force. The meeting had just started when a guy from the agency asked me to go get him some coffee!!! It still pisses me off to this day! Fortunately, I just looked over at my supervisor who I was friendly with and said "Ken, do we have coffee?"

You were correct to feel offended but it may not have been intentional.

Sensitivity training in order perhaps?

Sadly stuff like that happens a lot.... and unfortunately we tend to not get confrontational and just answer the question. At times I get similar remarks by men and I tend to just brush it off. When I complain to my friends, male friends, they usually make a joke out of it and tell me not to take things so seriously! There is this assumption that women are too sensitive and should develop thicker skin if they want to be in the business world. But what if we try to make similar remarks to our male counterparts? Will they brush it off and just move on?

The "mommy life" phrasing is where I would take offense. Smacks of patting you on the head like a golden retriever, as if your brain drained out with the afterbirth. Miss Manners would probably have advised you to point out his gaffe with a "Pardon me?" (which would require him to repeat his stupid remark so he'd realize how obnoxious it was). I would prefer something snappier, such as, "My daughter's great, Jack. How's the Moron Life treating you?" and turned the conversation to your latest work achievement. (Maybe we need to start a "snappy comebacks" file on this site, just for these occasions?!)