My dad passed away a few months ago. He was in a terrible bicycle accident. He had such bad brain injuries that we had to let him go.
I sat at his hospital bed for two weeks, holding his hand and sending him Reiki, hoping that he would open his eyes. Still, we had to let him go. It was the toughest decision that my family ever had to make.
When we took him off of life support, my family gathered around in a circle, held hands together and prayed. We thanked my dad for loving us and being such a wonderful father, grandfather and husband. We said goodbye. But, being the fighter that he was, he wasn’t quite ready to go. He hung on for another 24 hours. And that was the hardest time ever.
I sat with him at his bed, still holding his arm and sending him Reiki. But now it wasn’t about hoping that he would open his eyes. It was about giving him permission to pass on. I sat there asking him to let go. I told him that it was time to go, that we all loved him and that we know that he has to go now.
I vividly remember the moment of his passing. I stayed awake the entire night watching him, watching his breathing. I was alone in the room with him. The sun was starting to rise. I knew that the family could not handle another day of this. I just knew that he had to go now. His breathing changed. I sent powerful Reiki love to him. I just kept sending it.
The whole room filled with peace. I put his favorite music on, the sound of the loons. His breathing became very unsteady and his lungs were filled with liquid. I knew that the time was getting close. Being the fighter that he was, his physical body was not going to go without this one last fight. Dad’s breathing became very hard. It was very difficult to sit there and continue to hold his hand and watch this struggle. But I did not budge until he had taken his last breath.
And then it was over.
How do you say goodbye? I don’t know if you ever do. I know that my dad is still with me. He is out there somewhere watching over me.
Dad had a favorite poem that he wanted read for his children after he died. I find it so perfectly fitting. I do not know who the author is. It is called the “Navajo Prayer”:
I give you this one thought to keep
I am with you now…I do not sleep