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War of the moms

What are we fighting for?

by JaNohn  |  1553 views  |  2 comments  |      Rate this now! 

I've been working in corporate America for a little over two years. I was an at-home mom for about four years. Being at home was by force rather that choice. When we had our first child our annual gross income was shy of $35,000. That was in 1999. I tried to go back to work only to find that the cost of childcare was prohibitive. We just couldn't afford it, never mind all the drama that goes behind having a child in daycare.

As I began to embrace being at home, I started to meet other likeminded mommies at various playgroups. I thought it would be good for me to get out of the house and good for my girls to meet other kids. Well, I was in for a treat.

I had the opportunity to meet some great women who have become lifelong friends, but many of the women I met basked in the glory. They did not have to work. They had several degrees, worked in corporate America for a year or two, found Mr. Right and plopped out several kids. Now they shuttle from soccer, to dance, to piano, to girl scouts and back again.

Is there any problem being an at-home mommy -- nope. Is there any problem with being a working mom? Nope. Is there a problem with tearing down someone else to lift yourself up? Yup.

When I returned to work, I would hear women in the office talk about women who stayed at home. The working moms would refer to work-at-home moms (because that is what a stay-at-home mom does -- work) as lazy, worthless gold diggers. Comments would waft over the water cooler that sounded like, "She had another baby just so she could stay home," "Who in their right mind would want to stay home all day?" and "My house would be immaculate, too, if I were home all day".

When are we going to realize that working for a corporation and working for family can be equally fulfilling? I've worked from home, been a stay-at-home mom, and worked for a major corporation. All jobs have been tiresome and fulfilling. So I ask you, mommy community, why do we continue to fight? Why do we think the grass is greener on the side?

Your comments are most welcome.

 

 

 

About the Author

A mom that has walked on both sides of the fence

Read more by JaNohn




2 comments so far...

  • I don't think that it's greener on the other side - I think that those on either side can be a bit self-righteous at times. The thing is, we have a CHOICE and both are right. It's what is best for YOU and your family that matters. I have know women who are exactly what your water-cooler people talk about, as well as their own condoscending attitude toward SAHMs. And I have been subjected to the snotty attitude of SAHMs who looked down their noses at ME because I work, and always have worked, outside the home. Kini is right; no matter which way you go, you're working and you're working your fanny off. I just get PO'd with SAHMs who think that because I work outside the home, that I'm a terrible mother and that my child is totally deprived. Course the ones who have had the stones to actually tell me that are the very ones who are so totally immersed in their children that they don't even HAVE an identiy of their own. In a way, I feel sorry for them, because when that child graduates from HS, they're going to be so hindered by mommy that they're going to have a hard time dealing with the real world.

    Like it or not, one of the big things the feminist movement gave us was CHOICE. And tho some may adhore the word, it is what it is and God forbid that somebody EVER try to take it away.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by JKLD on 26th April 2009

  • A MOTHER'S JOB IS A 24HR JOB NO MATTER WHAT!!!! IT DOESN'T MATTER IF WE WORK FROM AND OFFICE OR AT HOME..OR FROM JAPAN..OR THE GUTTER TO SAY THE LEAST...WHEN WE PUT TIME AND EFFORT INTO SOMETHING THAT WE NEED TO DO NO MATTER HOW WE DO IT...WE ARE WORKING PERIOD. I HATE PEOPLE WHO REALLY ARE SO PLASTIC..THE WORLD IS FULL OF IT. I AM ABOUT BEING AS REAL AS CAN BE, STILL AND ALWAYS WITH A ALOHA HEART... THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I WANT TO TAKE THE TIME TO WORK AT HOME, FROM HOME, WHICHEVER WAY YOU CALL IT, SO DOES IT MAKE ME LAZY, A GOLD DIGGER...I DON'T THINK SO...IT'S A MATTER OF CHOICE. BESIDES WHY DOES EVERYONE CARE WHAT WE DO WITH OUR LIFE, WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN. YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT WORKING IN THE REAL WORLD AND NOT BEING LAZY OR BEING A GOLD DIGGER..THAN MORE POWER TO YOU...BUT CHECK THIS OUT....AS REAL AS CAN BE..THE REAL WORLD HOLDS LIKE I SAID SO MUCH PLASTIC...ANYHOW...MORE POWER TO YOU MOMS WHO WANT TO WORK AT HOME, OR WHO DOES...YOUR BUSTING BUTT, NO MATTER WHAT. AND THOSE WHO THINK ITS NOT WORK...WELL WHAT CAN I SAY....NOTHING!!!!! CAUSE IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by KINI on 2nd April 2009

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