During winter storms, unimaginative TV reporters always hit the same sites for live remotes: hardware stores (“They’re sold out of shovels, Biff!”) and supermarkets (“Paige, the milk and bread aisles are stripped bare!”). Question: if you live in a cold climate, don’t you already have a shovel? And unless you’re in a North Pole sublet, I’m wagering you won’t be trapped or starve. That’s why God invented plows and ramen noodles.
Why must they always be so wretched? Why?
Anna Nicole Smith
Tacky in life, media chum in death. Let her rest in peace, already.
Well, must dash to my Annoyed Women’s support group!