Communication is key, and we've always been able to communicate with one another. B.C. (Before Children), we needed to communicate with one another on if we wanted to stay in bed and have more sex or if we should get up to get something to eat before getting back into bed for more sex. Or, did we want to eat in bed while having sex? Life was so much easier back then.
But fortunately, what keeps our marriage strong and our sex life healthy is that we still communicate, just a bit differently. We "communicate" faster these days, and usually behind a locked closet door or atop the bathroom vanity. There are screams of, "We'll be right out! I'm helping Daddy fix the leaky faucet!" intermittently mixed with passionate whispers of, "You have to hurry up - they're right outside the door!"
In B.C. times, sex was akin to a great date night, the whole shebang - the dressing up, sexy undies, the makeup and hair, a spritz of expensive "I'm-going-to-have-sex" perfume. It included the pre-cocktail cocktail, the pre-dinner cocktail, a shared bottle of wine, and an elaborate gourmet meal with a decadent chocolate dessert. There'd be an after-dinner drink, the touches, glances, innuendoes, and finally, the main event, complete with candles, music, and boisterous reaffirmations that we'd rather be no place else in the world. Oh, and let's not forget mind-blowing simultaneous orgasms.
Now, there's still sex, just not so much of it, and not with such fanfare. I'm now from the "It's all about the quality, not quantity" school of thought, and I'm so thankful my husband attends this school too, or else this might have been an essay on divorce.
Sex now is like parking in the tow-away zone, running into McDonald's, having only a couple bucks and choosing something from the Dollar Menu. You have to know what you want, and you usually want it hot and fast. It's got to be easy, and it's oftentimes pretty cheap.
But you know, at the end of the day, that double cheeseburger is still going to be really, really delicious, and this is because it loves you and it's the cheeseburger of your three children.
Stephanie Elliot is a contributing editor at Betty, and she also answers your parenting questions at Just Another Manic Mommy. Visit her at manicmommy.blogspot.com or stephanieelliot.com.