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2.) Try not to get defensive. This will take some practice. It is our natural reaction to immediately leap to our own defense whenever someone puts us down. We immediately come up with several different rebuttals, all of which are aimed to prevent us from taking a single iota of responsibility for the situation at hand. However, if you can take a step back, a deep breath, and remove yourself from the situation for a moment, you might realize that you are being told something worthwhile, something which can help you grow personally and professionally.

3.) Allow yourself to feel emotions, but don't get stuck. You have the right to get upset whenever you hear negative feedback. It is perfectly natural to feel sad, angry, or any variation thereof when you hear that your performance needs work.  Allow yourself to feel those emotions, but don’t allow yourself to become them. Otherwise, you will be so busy “being” angry or sad that you won’t have the emotional energy or wherewithal to realize where you stand to improve.

4.) Turn your complains into requests. At the end of this process, you are more than welcome to share your feedback with your giver; just make sure your feedback isn’t in the form of a complaint. The gift is much easier to receive when it’s in the form of a request rather than a complaint.