Member Articles

My struggle was made worst when my sister, who was supposed to be the youngest, admitted her jealousy of the attention and love showered on me. While treating me as her youngest sister, whenever a conflict would arise, she would throw flat on my face how indebted I am to all of them.

Unprepared to wrestle with the trauma, I began to emotionally withdraw from my adoptive family. They never knew how hurting I was inside, missing the joy of a normal childhood, of being nurtured in a family that I could confidently introduce as my own.

The Turning Point

Bitterness had taken its root. My emptiness grew deeper until one remarkable day, my turning point came while finishing a college term paper on “Coping with Emotional Stress.” I found Romans 8:28 in my final research material and it brought such a relief in my spirit to have read, “... In all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

It gently dawned on me that God has a purpose in my life-- that I wouldn’t have been blessed with great opportunities-- as attending a world class university, becoming a Christian and growing in my faith without my being adopted. As God unfolded all of these, I had to repent for my bitterness and rebellion. A letter was sent to my sister in Louisiana voicing out to her for the first time my predicament. She graciously wrote back asking for forgiveness and reassuring me of her love. With a forgiving heart, I chose to release her as well as other family members. We’ve gone through a healing in our relationships since then, even with the past demise of both my adoptive and biological parents.

Now with a family of my own, I'm no longer the attention freak that I was. That deep void has already been filled. I only revert to my story when I have to for my daughter and other people's benefit.

Healing, though, is a process and not a one-time event. Sometimes I still struggle with facing the stigma of being an adopted child. But I guess I will have to live with it-- until it no longer stings-- when my eyes and heart are totally fixed on the good things around me. My healing will be complete then and no matter what I hear, I can only be grateful for who I am.