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About a year ago, as I was going around promoting my book, I gave a talk to a group of immigrant women entrepreneurs. The event was sponsored by Citibank and a woman by the name of Sallie Krawcheck gave the opening keynote. Sallie is the CEO Citigroup’s Global Wealth Management - and one of the highest ranked women on Wall Street. I don’t remember the specifics of her talk so much as I remember that she essentially ran into the room, got notes from her assistant, gave her 10-minute talk, and then ran off to her next meeting. I was in a high-strung too-many-hours finance job at the time, but nowhere near what hers was - and I remember wondering if she has kids and how she does it.
Sallie does have kids and I just read a short interview with her on Penelope Trunk’s blog. Here’s her answer to a question about work/life balance:
When women get up there and talk to you about work life balance, they are lying to you. I work all the time. I sent 220 emails last weekend. The last time I went out for drinks on a weekday like Sex in the City was when I was twenty-two. This is not a bitter comment. It’s a choice.
Reading this gave me the chills and I don’t know exactly why. I am a very ambitious woman and I’ve always worked a lot. I like to work and I think that just because you’re a mom does not mean that you can’t love your job and work hard at it. But something about Sallie’s response shook me. When does she see her kids? Is she ask OK with the choice she says she is making as she says she is?
But most importantly, how many moms out there can do the type of executive all-consuming job that she is doing?
Recent studies have shown that young women don’t aspire to run major companies. (When we asked a question about this here at Work It, Mom! the response was pretty much split down the middle.) Other surveys show that 60% of women want to work part time - and we all know well that you can’t do an executive job part time. If this is all true, then it would seem that very few of us want to do what Sallie is doing. And while I worry about not having enough women in senior executive positions I completely understand. It’s an incredibly tough choice and one that involves, at least for a period of time, focusing much more on the work part of your life than your family. There’s just no other way to do it.
One of our members recently wrote an article about her impending transition from a full-time attorney to working part time. While many moms would love to have this option, she wrote about being conflicted about her choice:
I’m sad for the person I wanted to be when I went to law school. I’m sad for the career I could have had if I was a stronger person, if I needed less sleep and was willing to sacrifice more. I’m just not that way anymore. I wish I was.
There is no easy choice when it comes to juggling work and family and so many things go into each decision. I’d love to hear your thoughts on these issues: Are you currently focused more on work than family and are OK with it? How do you look at work/life balance? Do you worry about not having enough women at the top of companies and organizations because those jobs are not compatible with having a family?
Sounds off in the comments!
This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 26th, 2007 at 7:11 am and is filed under Balancing Act, Career Talk.
Tags: executive women, full-time work, part-time work, work-life balance, work-life juggle
September 26th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
My work/life balance is currently out of synch with my priorities–in other words, I’m working more than I want to be, at home/with my fam less than I want to be. I’m working on realigning the balance, but it’s hard in the meantime.
I can’t imagine how anyone, man or woman, could achieve a super-high-level position (CEO of a big corporation, etc.) and NOT sacrifice quality time with family. Something’s got to give. In my case, no amount of career success would be worth outsourcing my family.
Susan at Working Moms Against Guilt
http://www.workingmomsagainstguilt.com
September 26th, 2007 at 2:18 pm
It does not have to be a one-or-the-other choice, but it’s pretty unlikely that you can have it all, AND have all of it, ALL of the time. No matter when you try to do it, having a career and kids at the same time will always involve a “juggle,” a “balancing act,” or whatever you want to call it. You can’t give 100% to your family AND 100% to your work AND be 100% successful at all of it 100% of the time; it’s physically, mentally, and emotionally improbable, not to mention mathematically impossible.
I’m actually quoting one of my own blog posts there, but I really feel that it’s true. An all-consuming career, by definition, means not much left for family or anything else. That’s not a price that many women - and increasingly, men too - are as willing to pay anymore, and it may very well slow down our trek to the top. Then again, the landscape could change while we’re on our way there.
September 26th, 2007 at 7:35 pm
The number of women in high-level positions is irrelevant to me. Every woman - every person - makes a choice. As the previous commenter said, you CAN’T have it ALL all the time and I personally feel that those women who try to demand special rights because they want to have a career and a family are being unfair. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.
I would love to have more in the “career” aspect of my life, and I know that someday I will. For now, I’ve decided to focus more time on my young children. I’m not thrilled, but it’s a decision I’ve made and I’m not bitter that businesses are not doing more to enable me to work more. It’s not their responsibility. It’s my personal choice.
September 27th, 2007 at 6:56 am
I think it’s generational — our foremothers who were stuck with no opportunity to have a great career if they wanted one had this PASSION, this NEED to prove that they had brains enough to run big companies. Our generation knows this to be true — in fact, we’ve been told since we were little girls that we can be whatever we want to be, astronauts, presidents, CEOs — so that burning need is diminished, I think. And, we see/realize what mothers who really wanted those high-powered careers had to sacrifice, so we’re inclined not to want lose the same things.
I’m not sure what it means for the future of family-friendly corporations, but I do think it’s another historic paradigm shift for women, if a little more subtle than the last.
I know I’m not personally willing to sacrifice family — I think “outsourcing family” is accurate for a lot of executive women — for my career. There’s just got to be a better way.
September 27th, 2007 at 12:28 pm
I can’t imagine trying to have a high-level career along with a family - it’s hard enough just to get through the work week. I’ve never been very career-driven though so maybe someone who has a career they feel passionately about might think differently. Although I can’t be with my kids 100% of the time, my family has always been and will always be my top priority. I’ve made career adjustments because of that, and I don’t regret it at all.
September 27th, 2007 at 5:44 pm
SHUT!
UP!
You wrote that book!?!?!? I used to stalk your website! LOL OK…I have to go read the rest of this post now. I just saw the link to the book and damn near FAINTED! Damn! I totally knew I liked you!!
September 28th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
I think the thing most women miss is that they try to achieve this thing called balance (which I call “The ‘B” Word”) all in one day. If they don’t get to have dinner with their kids one night or miss tucking them into bed, they’re in a panic. “I’m such a horrible mom!”
The better approach is to look at balance over time. In “The ParentPreneur Edge,” I call that a model of sustainability - something you can sustain over time. In interviewing entrepreneurs for the book, I found that parents (not just women!) feel more in balance when they look at it over a month, three months, or six months.
MY vision is for more women to START and grow successful companies with a culture that says you can have a successful career AND be a good mom (parent). I started mine 12 years ago to prove you could build a profitable company AND have a life and we were able to do JUST THAT!