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A while back I wrote here about an appointment I had with a new physician, where he told me that I needed to get my stress level down and start doing it by regularly breathing deeply. I’ll be honest with you — I’ve failed miserably to do this regularly. He said I should do it for a few minutes every hour; I do it for a few minutes a day (for which I am still proud since getting myself to slow down is a bigger deal than it should be.)
At that same appointment he sent me for a ridiculous amount of tests, including one (slight TMI here) where you spit in a tube at certain times during the day. Before he sent me for the tests he said he knew what would come back and he was right. Turns out I have what is called adrenal insufficiency. When you’re stressed, your body releases adrenaline (it’s actually cortisol and some other hormones, but who needs to get technical.) In very simple terms, I’ve worn out my adrenal glands with stress so much over the past however many years that they no longer produce normal levels of adrenaline. (Some adrenal insufficiency is caused by an underlying condition, like Addison’s disease, which is luckily not my case.)
And it turns out that adrenaline is important for pretty much everything from your energy level, to your immune system, to your body’s ability to process nutrients. In other words, not having enough adrenaline is not a good thing.
We had a long discussion about how we were going to get my adrenaline levels back up and as the result I now have more supplements in my pantry than I’ve ever had in my life. (I had to make a chart to remember which to take when.) At the end of it, the doctor got all serious and told me that I can take every supplement possible and yes, it would make some difference, but if I did not learn to do everything I do with less stress, if I did not learn to slow down at times and take time for myself, the problem will persist (and according to him and some medical literature I’ve read, it can lead to some really horrible stuff later on.)
De-stress.
Slow Down.
Take Time For Myself.
Does he now know I am a working mom? By definition, doing those three things is not in my DNA!
I am boring you with my medical details because I know that many of you run around and work just as hard, or much harder, than I do. And many of us think we’re supermoms and can juggle it all. I certainly thought this for a while. But I’m now learning that there are repercussions to running yourself so hard, to not taking breaks, to not taking time out for yourself, not ever slowing down. In my case, I now have some numbers on a piece of paper to prove it, but I don’t think we need numbers.
What we need are constant reminders that taking care of ourselves is as important as taking care of our kids, our family, our chores, our jobs. I used to think that taking an afternoon for myself was selfish and felt guilty about it. I know I am not alone in feeling this way. And while I don’t think I can completely erase those feelings, I have a different perspective about them now. If I don’t take time out for myself, my family will eventually suffer. And that’s obviously the last thing that I want.
So take deep breaths, take time to meditate, go for a walk, dance in your living room, go to the gym or for a run. Find a sitter or ask your significant other to take the kids for a night and go out. Take more than 30 seconds to eat breakfast. Order out to take a breath from cooking. Take time to take care of yourself.
(Boy, it sounds good when I write it down. Now I have to actually do it. So I am off to find a way to eat breakfast in peace even though there is endless snow falling outside, my daughter’s preschool is closed, my afternoon babysitter can’t come and I have a huge pile of work to do.)
This entry was posted on Monday, January 14th, 2008 at 9:10 am and is filed under Your life.
Tags: adrenaline, health, stress, taking care of yourself, working mom
January 14th, 2008 at 9:50 am
It’s putting the theory into practice that’s the hard part… the last paragraph you wrote describes my situation today exactly!
January 14th, 2008 at 10:13 am
I have a friend with Addison’s. Be a very good girl and do whatever your doctor says because it is far less than pretty. I don’t want to be scary, but it’s a nasty thing. Please, please, please, for the sake of your loved one, take good care of yourself and avoid that path. I absolutely hate writing something this sober, but I watched my friend go from my absolute hero and super woman to a shell (she’s still my hero, BTW, watching her battle this and get better). If you’d like, I can get the two of you together. She’s gone mostly natural with this and the results have been phenomenal. Sorry to go on and on. Stay well. And don’t forget to breathe!
Thanks, Flea — I don’t have Addison’s, but my adrenal glands are not producing much adrenaline, so end result is similar. For now, the way it’s affecting me is with fatigue — I have a lot less energy than I used to. (According to doc, I am running on remaining fumes, whatever that means.) But definitely a wake up call!
January 14th, 2008 at 10:56 am
Oh, Nataly, this is so scary! I’m glad that you’ve discovered it so early and know that you really have to step up in order to take care of yourself. Out of curiosity, any chance acupuncture can help? That hour once or twice a week on a table ALONE with no way to move b/c you’re stuck with needles is a perfect set up for meditation. I was just telling my hubby that I’m going to go back to acupuncture just for that given meditation time!
You seem like such a determined person so I know you can make this a priority and make it work. Good luck!!
January 14th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Nataly you’ve just done the first step to reducing your stress! You admited (even if a Dr had to beat it into you!) that you need to reduce your stress. I hope you find a way that works for you, as I’m sure you will. The best of luck!
January 14th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
One of my red flags is when I eat mostly standing up, and mostly moving around. Walking and eating is not relaxing and is probably not good for me either! So then I try to remember to eat only when sitting down. Like at a table. For more than 2 minutes.
Also I know I’m in trouble when finding the time to go to the bathroom seems like an extra! It can get ridiculous.
Thanks for sharing, and I support you taking very good care of yourself!
January 14th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
so you mean i shouldnt be working 1.5 jobs and attempting 3 other side ventures AND try to keep my house clean and have a social life?!
actually, it’s funny, i was just thinking the other day that as much as my 2 hour a day commute is a pain from the planning/access to home perspective - it is GREAT for my sanity! it’s 2 hours a day where i basically am left to my thoughts and/or the radio! it’s actually relaxing to me and allows me a lot of time to transition from home to work and back again. i often wonder if i do get the opportunity to work from home if i would have a hard time with out the commute!
January 14th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
so i hit ’submit’ too soon!
maybe you can blog a series of things you do (or at least keep us updated!) to force yourself to relax and reduce your stress! nothing like us nagging you to keep you honest and on task hehehe
January 14th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
ha! Heather, in undergrad a bunch of us bio nerds sat around and pondered why no one had figured out a way for us to pee for each other. I’m too busy, can you go to the bathroom for me? And no, we weren’t drunk or high. But even back then I was too busy to find time for the bathroom.
Nataly — Thanks for sharing. I think we all have this myth that not only is caring for ourselves selfish, but that no one else is taking the time. So let’s all hit the spa!
January 14th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Veronica, that is hilarious!
Tattooed Mommy - yes, I kind of feel like I should stand up and say Hi, my name is Nataly, and I am an adrenally-challenged stressed out working mom:)
Heather — sitting down to eat is one of the first things I am working on. It’s tough and it’s ridiculous that it’s so tough, but I am trying.
Now I really need to get disciplined about this deep breathing thing — according to the doc my breath is too rushed and shallow, whatever that means:)
But damn, guys, thank you — making me feel all fuzzy and destressed all over with the comments!
January 15th, 2008 at 7:41 am
At the risk of sounding weird and New Age-y, I’m going to suggest you take up yoga. It will teach you how to breathe! And yes, I know, how do you find the time? Well, when our bodies start crying out for attention this way, you make the time.
None of your work endeavors do you any good if you basically end up too crippled to enjoy them, lady. Take care of you.
January 15th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Mir! yoga isnt weird anymore
some of it is still ‘new age-y’ (when does new age become old age??) i think Yoga is a GREAT suggestion!
especially since it can teach you how to breath and how to know the difference between deep breathind shallow breathing.
aahh yoga is on my to do list too… i have DVDs but they just arent the same as going IN PERSON.
Nataly - the hardest part for me eating and sitting is… it’s BORING at first, but then you realize you are chewing at a crazy rate and breathing hard because you really took too big of a bite because you want to GET UP already! when you realize this try not to laugh so hard that anything comes out of your nose, because thats really just kinda gross and then you have to clean it up! not that i would know… ahem…