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Don't call me mommy!
30 comments
Guest Blog: Motherhood is a life, not a job
18 comments |
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This weekend we went to visit our friends in New York. (I will spare you from any whining in this post about how much I miss New York. I promise. But I do, a lot.) Invariably we got into a conversation about work and how we all work too much, are sleep-deprived, don’t see our kids enough, don’t go on enough vacations, and so on. You know, the usual working families discussion fare. And then the mom said something I think so many of us can relate to: ” I like to work, I like what I do, but I just want to be able to do less of it — to work less than full-time.”
I certainly fee this way. I’ve always worked full-time and in my previous career in investing, full-time meant more than 8 hours a day. I’m pretty open on this blog about the fact that running Work It, Mom! involves working around the clock and usually putting in 10-12 hour days. I rarely complain because I LOVE what I do and I feel lucky to have the opportunity do create something that I think benefits other women. But I am exhausted and sleep deprived (which is starting to affect my health), I don’t see my daughter, my husband, or my family and friends as much as I’d like and I’d love to work less.
The thing is, I can’t. I can’t do what I do and do less of it — it’s the nature of a start-up for the founders to work this hard (or even harder). In my previous job I could not work less and no one in that industry works part-time. (There was a woman in my firm who asked to work 4 days a week after having twins. They let her, for about four months, after they made life so difficult for her that she quit.) My friend whom we visited this weekend can’t do her job part-time either. And I wonder how many of the almost 80% of working mothers who say they want to work less than full-time can actually make it happen.
I am not a career expert, but I do believe that there are some jobs that can’t be done part-time. You can’t be a part-time CEO, you can’t be a part-time company founder, you can’t work part-time in industries that require full-time presence and continuity of work. I have a friend who runs a company that helps create job shares — where two people share one job, therefore each working part-time. I think in many ways it’s an ideal solution because it creates an opportunity for two people to have a good job on a part-time schedule. But job sharing is not widespread and it has its own challenges. (For example, what happens when the two people sharing a job have conflicting ideas about something that’s to be done? This creates tension and angst for them and the employer, making this a more complex — and therefore less desirable — arrangement than just having one person do the work.) I hope that my friend and many others like her can help educate employers and employees about job sharing so that it can be a real in the future, but to be honest, I think this will take a while.
Part-time work is not without it’s issues, of course. Many part-timers say they end up working almost full-time for less pay. Some have to forgo health and other benefits when they work part-time, which creates its own set of issues. And many part-timers don’t get the same level of respect from colleagues when they work part-time. An option many of us want might not be as great as we think.
I look forward to hearing your comments on this topic: Do you wish you could work part-time? Can your job be done part-time? Do you work part-time and feel it’s not as great as it might seem? Do you think more part-time work will become available as more workers, including men and women, focus on work-life balance?
This entry was posted on Monday, March 3rd, 2008 at 9:32 am and is filed under Work, Work/Life Balance, Working Mom Issues.
Tags: career, flexibility, job sharing, part-time work, work-life balance, working families, working part-time
March 3rd, 2008 at 10:46 am
Great topic, Nataly. Well, since you asked, here’s my perspective: I work part-time from home. I decided it was important for my sanity after seeing how full-time working moms live at my previous jobs! The thing is: it’s a personal thing. I wish I was a full-time corporate-type with a high prestige job, great salary and benefits, etc. But I don’t have the energy to pursue it.
I’d rather live a quieter life, and that means working part-time for a lot less money and status. Yes, it gets to me at times. But I enjoy having a low-pressure schedule. Maybe as my daughter grows, things will change. Also, who knows what will come along? I’m pretty open-minded about the future.
I think we are seeing a huge jump in part-time opportunities for men and women, especially in Web-based media. But I honestly don’t think these jobs will ever be high-status or highly-paid. I guess it’s a trade-off. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit concerned about the career choices I’ve made, however.
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:02 am
I actually am fortunate to have a state government position where they let me work part-time. The flexibility is great except that over the years it has turned into my squeezing full time work into part time hours. So it does leave me a bit more stressed and rushed when I am at work. Also, taking off for a vacation or a sick child gets sticky because then I’m out of the office more. There are also colleagues who resent my part time status. Sometimes I’d like to remind them that I am also earning a part-time salary now, not full time.
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:07 am
I’ve found many part time jobs pay a lower hourly rate than full time so you need to work more hours to get the pay you need. Plus I need to work nearly 2 weeks a month to make enough to cover benefits, taxes, 401k, and daycare. If I drop to part time some companies offer benefits but not all. It just hardly seems worth it.
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:09 am
I like to work, and I find that I accomplish more when I am working full time. I think it would be difficult to find a part-time position that fulfilled me on a professional level. Those jobs tend to be more clerical in nature.
I also don’t think I would be good at job-sharing. I am a team player, but I would not feel comfortable depending on another person completing a shared project. And in that same vein, what if I screwed up and it had a negative affect on my partner.
Very interesting topic.
March 3rd, 2008 at 1:36 pm
i work 30 hours a week down from 40. the bosses offered to bring me back up from 30 and i declined. 30 seems like a good number - i’m here enough to matter but i still get home in time to cook something for supper. or take my kid to the park. or go by the bank. whatever.
when the cut was made i was adamant that i would NOT be cramming 40 hours into my new 30 hour schedule. i helped this process along by not answering (or even checking) work email off-hours and by setting limits when i interact with people in terms of meetings and projects. just because they work 40 hours doesn’t mean i do too!
my benefits cost more - but my rate of pay is the same. plus on weeks i might put in my 30 hours in three days i get the rest of the week off.
it’s been good for me - keeps me in my game while giving me a blessed few extra hours to play.
March 3rd, 2008 at 1:51 pm
In my experience the only benefit of working “part time” is a slight increase in flexibility (n small thing for a parent, admittedly). Otherwise, I think it’s harder. Certainly, I’ve worked just as hard at “part time” jobs as full time. Moreover, it’s much harder working without a regular routine than with one, and even the “flexibility” part may be a bit mythical as usually I’m running frantically around playing catch-up with whatever job-free hours I can manage.
AND (of course) there is the pay (I usually work a lot more hours than I feel justified billing for as a “part-timer”… how about you?) and the issue of benefits, which are routinely denied “part-timers” and which generally are calculated as a 30-40% mark-up or value-add to the salary earned by someone with full benefits.
March 3rd, 2008 at 2:44 pm
great topic! yes, in theory i would LOVE to work part time! And i actually think i could do most of my actual ‘work’ during that time frame - what’s tough is that everyone else is working full time and they get annoyed that they can’t get a response from you after a certain time of day or day of the week or whatever. Plus, schedules are crazy enough much less trying to schedule a meeting around someone who is only available during xyz hours on specific days. however, there are some positions where this is fine and where job sharing can be a huge help! however, like others have said - to have any kind of career growth, part time work just isnt realistic unless the entire company works part time!
maybe after you make your millions from WIM, you can start work on the part-time company and the philosophy will be - “we do more in a 20 hour work week than you do all month!” hehehe
March 3rd, 2008 at 2:46 pm
also - the reality is that if i got the same pay/benifits/career advantages and only worked 20hours a week? of COURSE i would do that! then i could spend the other 20 hours cleaning, going back to school, get involved with my community, etc. oh yes of course, and see my family
March 3rd, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Great topic- you know how I feel. I couldn’t make part time WORK. I didn’t get benefits, got paid less and didn’t feel like I could get career advancement. Sometimes it can work, but not in my consulting industry. I was much happier when I realized that it wasn’t working for me.
March 3rd, 2008 at 9:44 pm
This topic comes up a lot at my work. there are some people that work part time & some that used to work part time but noq came back full time. If I had a dollar for every time that i said, “I wish I could work part time” then I wouldn’t have to work full time!! Financially, we can’t swing cutting my hours & pay, so until we hit the lottery, then here I am working full time (and missing the time that I could be spending with my daughter).
March 4th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
As someone who works part time (mostly) I love it but there are days I wish I was full time, if only to keep me occupied with things outside of the house instead of children, husband, pets, cooking, cleaning, etc. I can’t justify paying someone else to cook or clean b/c I’m here anyway and don’t have all of the work it would take to come up with 40 hours. And, on that note, I couldn’t possibly voice for 40 hours a week without some considerable strain!
Nataly, you make a great point about the lack of respect. Not only do I have a non-traditional job but I work from home while taking care of my kids almost exclusively. I get a lot of mixed reactions to this including that I must make a fortune or that I’m not really working at all.
March 4th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
I just found this web site and this topic is very interesting to me. I have always worked part time (20 to 30 hr wks) and I find it the most comfortable for me. I get to work and feel competent and capable, using my training and interacting with ‘real’ adults, and I also get to spend 2 days a week to interact with my younger two children, cook a decent dinner, get to the bank, develop pictures… I think in this world where we moms are always asked to “do it all”, this enables me to -sort of- feel as if I can. It is certainly not without its stresses. There are times when I feel I don’t do either job (work or Mommy-ing) well, but I think I would probably have those days regardless of my working situation. The comment someone made in another posting about lack of respect does have some merits, though. I am a doctor and my business partner is a male who shares my office part time and then has another on his own. He works 60 hr weeks, makes a lot of money; I know there are times when he definitely doesn’t think that I “really” work.
March 4th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
Greetings! I work both full time and part time! I’ve always worked full time and when my kids were younger it really bothered me. I missed being with them, and felt like I was missing out on raising them. The way I handled it was by involving them in the house chores, errands, etc. when possible. If we had to clean the house, we’d have our music on and dance while we worked. Or if we had to go grocery shopping, we’d stop and play at the park for a few minutes too. And we always got our reading time and our “special time” in before bed. It made for long nights and early mornings for me (trying to get it all done), but my kids and I spent a lot of time together and we are very close.
My kids are now teenagers and pre-teen and I am also working part time. I make my own hours, working for a childrens toy and book company run by two mothers committed to celebrating the whole child. Their products and books model real life virtues in a make-believe world and I find this work very gratifying. While my kids do their schoolwork, I do mine!
March 5th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Hi Nataly-
I do think you can be a founder and/or CEO of a company and work less hours. I am one of those who believes anything is possible though! There is an interesting book called the Millionaire Course by Mark Allen. He basically set up a very successful publishing company working part time. It is my goal to build my business in a way that I can work part time. So far, so good- I’ll keep you posted!
March 7th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Hello
I really wish I could work part-time, but I have a special needs child that requires my salary and my husband’s. The unfortunate part is the time I am losing trying to prepare my son to be self-sufficient one day. I can’t get that time back. I am tired both emotionally and physically and hope that one day that high-paying, part-time job many of us dream of will come along.
March 12th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
I was able to start working three days a week after the birth of my son. I am a software developer and it has worked out pretty well, although I still seem to have the same amount of work to do but just less time to do it. I do feel that some of my co-workers feel that I am on a sub-tier now. However, those annoyances are worth it to be able to spend quality time with my son. I was able to make the transition to part-time because I work for a small family-based company. I have seen a lot of my friends leave their careers entirely but with some regrets so I definitely think that more women would make this choice if it was available. No, it is definitely not perfect but I feel that the difficulties are well worth the extra time I get to spend with my son and the more balanced feel I have to my life in general.
March 14th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
I am struggling to get a part-time job. I guess that is waht is keeping a contract from a job that I was offered from coming in the door
God knows I would be SO greatfull for working part time that I would be a great asset to the company in the long term. I also feel I have “earned” my part time by working my tushy off the last 7 years in the same company when I didnt have kids…
Well…lets see what happens, I still keep trying to have faith in the corporate world - but if the contract doesnt come in soon I think I have to be open to the possibility that part time is just not welcome in the private sector and that I have to switch professions
All the years of doing a bachelor, a master, certifications, management trainee programs, etc…where are they going to go to? I am really worried.
Well girls, there is a good book called “Managing your Career” from Harvard Business Review. It has an article of Part time work, quite good. If you want to discuss it, let me know.
Gaby
March 21st, 2008 at 12:07 am
It can be hard and somewhat adventurous, but many moms I know have created their own opportunities!
I have a flex job and many people at my office don’t realize it (we had a huge hiring frenzy a year or so after I started). They think I just skate in and out each day. The truth is that I get pretty much everything done in 6 hrs and I bet they do too. I definitely feel some resentment from some of the people in the office and I do care about it…..but not that much. It feels good to pick up my kids from school each day and I dread when other people’s inefficiencies at work hold not just me but my whole family up.
Overall, I really appreciate that I have one of the few flex jobs at my office, and I regularly take the time to thank my boss and HR person often for this opportunity. I acknowledge that this is a rare thing….HOWEVER, I think that when we live in a time when both women and men have flex job opportunities available, you will see an unprecedented increase in worker productivity and job loyalty. Allow people to contribute the most productive, creative moments in their day and they will!
March 30th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
I work part time, and the only thing part time about my job is my salary. In exchange for getting to be at home with my kids two days a week I had to give up any chance of a promotion or competive salary increase. (My annualized salary is 10k below others doing the same work in my office) Where I currently work, you have to pretend you are not part time so they don’t get frustrated with you, including checking e-mail, voicemail and taking calls on the days when you are ‘home’. I really hate working part time, but I feel like I should love it because it seems like the ideal situation. I never feel like I am doing a good job at home or at work.
April 13th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
I reduced my hours from full time to 25 hours a weeks. Works great for me.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
I currently work 30 hours per week (spread over 4 days) as Director of Finance & Administration for a small technology company (less than 15 employees). I started out as a part-time contractor, proved my worth and was able to negotiate a pro-rated salary with full benefits. I see it as a win-win situation for both my employer and me. In exchange for their flexibility and fair pay, I am willing to check e-mail and receive phone calls on my day off. My boss is great about not taking advantage of my accessibility. I think part-time work is more feasible at a smaller company, such as mine, where they don’t necessarily need a full-time resource.
Job shares would seem to make more sense in a larger company. If one of the job sharers quits, at least the company doesn’t lose 100% of the knowledge. The cost to replace an employee is very expensive in terms of recruiting costs and lost productivity. These are things that companies don’t always consider.
Baby boomers are starting to retire. There aren’t enough full-time Gen Xers to replace them. Additionally, the Millenials that are now entering the workforce aren’t willing to sacrifice their personal lives and will leave a company if they don’t feel like they are getting what they “deserve”. Consequently, companies are going to face a “human capital” shortage and will hopefully be forced to make flexible work arrangements (such as job shares and part-time work with benefits) a choice.
May 12th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
Working part time at home or out and about I think is needed. The social contact is what we women need. My passion is TriCountyMoms.com ( my own at home business) but I do consulting work as a compuuter tech as well. The benefits are priceless!! So I say yes to part time work. As long as it does not disturb the family balance.
I like getting out and about and meeting new people. How about you?
May 19th, 2008 at 9:29 am
This is a great topic. I already get crap because I only work Monday-Friday at my job and I’m off early enough to pick up my son from daycare. The guys at my office work 6-7 days a week and work late. See, i work for a top producing real estate agent. I process all of his closings and have a license to sell property as well. When I sell property, he gets a cut of it. So he wants me to be out showing property as much as possible after my normal hours that he pays me for. However, those are also the same hours that my son is out of daycare. I tried showing property with my son but the last two times he became hysterical wanting to go home. Plus he weighs a ton and the entire experience has nearly brought me to tears each time so I have now told him that I can no longer do this. It has to be during my work hours. I have gone out with people on weekends but I am also exhausted and would like to spend time with my family on weekends. Everytime I come back to work on Mondays and even so much as mention that I took my son to the playground at the mall or anything, everyone acts like I’m so priveledged with so much time to goof off while they all were working. I work hard, I get my job done and yet I still get crap for it. I can’t even imagine what would happen if I worked part-time.
I just found out that my sister-in-law is leaving her job for this reason. Although she does her job very well and completes it, her co-workers all work into the night and on weekends both of which she has no desire to do so she chose to leave. When she resigned, they told her that it was for the best as she doesn’t seem to enjoy putting in the long hours that everyone else does. What is this country coming to? All work and no time off? It’s very, very sad.
May 21st, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Working part time is just like working full time in that you must set limits in order to have a proper work life balance. In my job, it works out well because I’m paid hourly. If I work 40 hours per week I make a ton of money. I average about 24. Sadly, it’s not the type of job I can do from home, or with my son, so I pay through the nose for a good preschool.
A salaried part time job always seemed a little dangerous to me. That’s why I left my last job, rather than negotiate part time. I want to be paid for the hours I work. I want to take off on vacation whenever I want, and I do not want to be on crisis watch all the time.
I’m eternally grateful for the job I have, even on bad days. It is hard having one foot in each world sometimes - the mommy world and the working world, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
For those of you who think all part time does is offer more flexibilty and a cut in pay, I would strongly disagree. It could certainly get that way if you let it - it requires a lot of discipline to shut off the blackberry and email. I find that when I bill my employer for answering his mail, the off hours emails slow down. : )
Good luck to everyone!
June 18th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
I work part-time and am so grateful for it. After a year of maternity leave, (I live in Canada) I came back to work full-time and after that nearly killing me, I asked to be cut to four days a week. My employer was great and said no problem.
The cut in pay was a bit shocking at first, but once I got used to that, it was great. I truly believe we all live within our means. That being said, it’s tough at times, but to me it’s worth it.
Now my two children will be in school full-time come September and I’ll get a whole day a week to myself!
I highly recommend working four days a week if possible. Life is short and to me, time is more important than money.
June 23rd, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Definitions are very important here. People tend to lump all sorts of non-traditional work arrangements into the “part time” label. When people tell me they want to work part time, the first thing I say to them is “Define part time”.
Sometimes, they would actually be okay working the equivalent of a full time job as long as some of the hours could be done at home late at night or at other family downtimes during the day. Distinguish for yourself (and for your employer) what pieces of the job require an on site presence during traditional office hours and what can be done remotely or at odd hours.
And when figuring out compensation for part time, determine what the full time equivalent position would pay and pro-rate that salary for the number of part time hours worked, whether in or out of the office and whether during traditional or non-traditional office hours.
June 23rd, 2008 at 9:56 pm
I worked in a job where I thought it was impossible to work part time. My job is deadline driven, unpredictable, client service oriented and I manage a large team. By the time my son was 1, my health began to suffer so I decided to quit and planned to do consulting. My boss asked me to stay and said she’d make any accomodations I wanted (it helps that she is a single mom). So I cut back to 32 hours a week, which may not sound like part time, but it did to me since I had been working 50-60 hours. On some level, I am still always on bc I have to check my blackberry constantly. But oddly, I found that I can pretty much manage the same workload in fewer hours because I’m not sleep deprived and feel sharper mentally. I work 28 hours in the office and 4 flex hours. Since most salaried part time people end up working more than their scheduled hours, I built in the flex hours to cover the time I spend at home on email. If I work more than 32 hours, I take comp time when I things are slowe. I did that to avoid the financial incentive to work more hours.