A few days ago I had a lunch meeting with a business contact, a guy. (Yes, I think his gender is relevant.) We talked about a few issues I needed his help with and when our lunch arrived he said something that startled me:

“You know, you talk like a guy. If I didn’t know you were a woman, I’d think I was working with a man.”

I think he saw the puzzled look in my eyes after he said this because he went on to clarify that in his experience, few women are as direct as I was in our interactions. He told me that he works in an office with many women and he is not used to dealing with someone like me.

I honestly don’t know if I should have been offended, flattered, or something entirely different. Yes, I am direct when I talk about work or business. I try not to start sentences with statements like “I am not sure…” or “This might not be the right thing, but…” or pose something as a question when I want to make a point. I wasn’t always like this and I’ve done my share to prove right the many stereotypes that exist about women at work. But years of working with mostly men taught me that how we communicate is critical to our success at work and I’ve tried to learn something from the opposite sex. (I’ve never met a guy in the business world who started a sentece with “This might be a stupid idea…” but I’ve done this myself and have heard many women do this.)

On the other hand, in retrospect I think his comment was a bit ridiculous.We’re not friends or long-term colleagues — we’ve only met a few times. I am pretty sure he thought he was paying me a compliment, but it was one that made huge generalizations about women in the workplace — however true this particular one might have been.

What do you think? What would be your reaction to a comment like this? Am I being hypocritical by making my own generalizations about the way women communicate at work and balking at the fact that this guy does the same?