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According to CareerBuilder.com Mother’s Day survey 43% of working mothers would be willing to take a pay cut if they could spend more time with their children and 51% of working moms from two-income households would quit their job if their partner’s income was enough to support the family.
I wasn’t surprised when I read the first part. I was at an event recently where I met working mom after working mom who changed careers or modified her job to have more time for family and kids. On days when my stress level is through the roof and I can’t seem to get enough work done or spend quality time with my daughter I often start thinking whether I should be doing something to dramatically change my career path and make it less demanding and consuming. I love to work and I’ve never thought about staying at home full-time, but I do know that if I worked less, it would be easier to juggle.
At this time I don’t have this option. And as my fellow entrepreneur readers know, putting a company on its feet requires endless work, at least at the beginning. And while I’m currently on hiatus from being the primary breadwinner (well, being the struggling entrepreneur and all), this is temporary and our family can’t afford no or much lower income from me in the longer term.
I have to say that I was surprised by the 51% statistic and I wonder if these women were particularly stressed on the day they answered the survey. While it’s possible to opt out of the workforce for a few years, I think we’ve all read enough studies that show that going back to work isn’t an easy process and not going back to work can be risky, personally and financially. And while I only know a few moms who stay home full-time, I know enough about how stressful that choice can be as well. Do you think when we’re stressed we tend to idealize it?
I am curious to hear your reactions: Would you take a pay cut if you could have more time with your kids? Would you take a significant one? And if your family could afford it, would you stay home full-time?
This entry was posted on Monday, May 12th, 2008 at 10:28 am and is filed under Money, Work/Life Balance, Working Mom Issues.
Tags: balancing work and family, breadwinner, working mom issues
May 12th, 2008 at 10:56 am
I would and I have. Before owning my own business again, I worked for two companies where I took pay cuts for shorter hours and more flexibility. I’m the envy of all my freinds for my ability to negotiate such things. My philosophy is “you’ve got to ask to receive” and I have.
http://www.ArkansasFamilyFun.com
May 12th, 2008 at 10:59 am
I did just that - I made an extreme downward career move - from medical office manager to telecommuting transcriptionist so that I could be home with my son. This was to be temporary but lasted 16 years. Now I would love to re enter the work force but find I am no longer needed or wanted. Fortunately, we can afford to live off of my husband’s salary but I feel betrayed as a person. I have experience, the will, and much that I have left to contribute but no one seems to want to open their world to me. Iti s a double edged sword. Am I sorry I stayed home with my son - NO! He is a well adjusted, bright boy whose mom was always there for him. He got into every college he applied to and accepted the one that gave him a 3/4 scholarship (not at our request). Do I feel I have been slighted, dismissed - YES! But, I won’t give up, someone out there will see my potential and will be able to see past my 16 years as a work at home mom who has not kept up with the Microsoft software boom but is willing and eager to learn.
I have a panache of feelings ranging from guilt to pride to pain to disillusionment to just plain being angry.
If I had it to do over again, I would do it the same way!
May 12th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
I would and I did, about 5 months ago. After being a SAHM for the forst 16-months of my daughter’s life, mostly due to the fact that my husband was in the Army and we were moving all the time so I really couldn’t get a job, I went back to work full-time as a Defense Analyst for a government consulting firm. Two years of full-time work, plus another baby added to the family, and I felt that I was just not able to work full-time and be the mom I wanted to be. So I took a 40% pay cut and now work from home on a flex schedule at 60% time (about 24 hours/week). However, due to the high cost of childcare where I live, we actually take home MORE money because my kids are home full-time with me. Is it hard to work with two kids in the house? YES. But we’ve adapted and have a good schedule worked out, and so far I have not had to rely on any child care while I am working. I am beyond lucky to work for a company that even considers this to be an option, and I have to say it has been the best thing that has happened to our family. We are all happier and less stressed, and the pay cut was more than worth it!
May 12th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
I would and still hope to. I’ve been primary breadwinner for a long time, but my husband finally scored a “grownup” job in January. We’ve bought a less expensive house and if/when our old one sells, we’re hoping to be able to swing a positive cash flow on just his salary.
I think your key phrase is “I love to work”. Not so much me. I love to organize, but I’m happy to organize kid stuff and our home life to fulfill that need. I’ll probably always putter at some computer work (I’m a programmer), but I would love love love love LOVE to be able to put it aside for a bit to focus on my kids.
That said, I think it’s human nature to idealize that which we don’t and especially cannot have. I have a hard time socializing too much with all-SAHM-groups because it’s difficult for me to listen to them go on and on about how much easier their lives would be if they were working outside the home.
I worked half time for awhile after my daughter was born, but I found the overhead-to-work-time ratio to be too high to feel like I was getting anything done. (Half time basically doubles your effective meeting-load.) I work 80% now, which works OK.
May 12th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
I have and it’s totally worth it…for my own sanity if nothing else. Just wanted to comment on your observation, Nataly, that you’ve met mom after mom who are in this situation. I, too, have been struck by how many other moms I’ve met, both locally and online, in the same boat. I have my moments of feeling bad for not being more ambitious or not earning more, but knowing I’m not alone really is a comfort. I guess I feel like I’m part of a burgeoning sector of the workforce and, well, I have to believe that this trend will ultimately benefit moms and families. Um, I hope…
May 12th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
I did take a pay cut as I was downsized from Corporate America after 18 years. But I will tell you when you save on the wardrobe (suits), nanny care, daycare and now the price of gas you may find you are not taking a paycut or maybe just a very little one.
I did take a paycut even after all of that but I quickly made that up with the ambitions to start http://www.TriCountyMoms.com
Go after your dreams and be with your children!
May 13th, 2008 at 7:02 am
As a parent coach, I am working with more and more moms and (dads) who are willing to take a paycut (get out of coroporate America, and world) and not take a paycut!!
There are so many opportunties to start your own business now because of the internet, that there really is no reason not to explore this…
A lot of mom’s who were admin assts. are becoming VA’s (Virtual assts). They are making up and above $45/hour and work when they want, for who they want and as much as they want.
Kids need us parents and the world is changing really fast…being available to our kids has never been so important as it is today.
May 13th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
I’m not sure I would want to take a paycut for more time. For me, it’s about having the flexibility to have both fit. If I can work from home part of the time, flex my hours one day to chaperone the school field trip, then I feel like it can be a win-win.
If my spouse’s salary was the total of our combined salary now, working part-time for less money could be a possibility if he was willing to take over a larger portion of our household expenses (which we split 50/50 now). But I know that I would never leave my professional. It’s too hard to jump back in and I like making my own money and having the financial independence that goes along with it.
May 13th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
I can see how lots of parents would do almost anything to spend more time with their children. As a full time working mom, I only see my 1 year old son for 1/2 hour in the morning before daycare/work and 2 1/2 hours in the evening before bedtime. I spend the least amount of time with him of all his caregivers!! Plus, with the HUGE cost of daycare, it’s almost not worth missing out on all his baby years, for just that little extra income! Before he was born I tried to arrange a “work from home one day a week”, wouldn’t that be great! Too bad it didn’t work out (sigh).
May 16th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
I’m going through that right now. My job has suddenly become inflexible. So I’m looking at taking a different job that’s part-time, or even moving into another job with a lower pay grade if it’s more flexible.
It sucks. I shouldn’t have to make this decision.
But even if I do stay home, I will be working from home, too. It allows me to be with our son, but we still need income from a second career.
So writing, which I love, is going to be my primary job very soon, I think. And after a little while, it won’t be a pay cut. I have the potential to make much more. That’s the best of both worlds–for me.
May 16th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
@gina - I was going to try one telecommute day, too, but since my office hasn’t done it in the past, they don’t want to start now. So they’re willing to lose a good employee rather than changing the way they do things just a little bit.
May 26th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
I have an exciting public relations job working with celebrities and doing all sorts of star-studded events and activities. I’m “in the game,” movin’ and shakin’ it but always trying to balance my need to work with my desire to be a good mom. In my heart of hearts, I am a writer, so am about to officially launch my blog about mid-life moms to try and make a go of it (I’ve worked as a newspaper reporter and my PR job means I’m writing press releases all the time - but I want to say what I want to say!) I am working harder than ever to try to get to the life where I am creatively fulfilled and able to be home with my kids more. I have lots of friends trying to figure out just what it is they are going to do with their lives now that the kids are up and running. It’s never easy.