I was at an event earlier today where the main speaker, an uber-successful mom CEO and entrepreneur with two kids, gave the intro speech and talked about what she has learned about being a working mom who has a demanding career. When it came time for questions a woman in the audience asked her if she ever worried that her working so much negatively affected her kids and their relationship with her.

I couldn’t figure out if the question was a bit passive-aggressive or genuinely from someone who wanted to know how this woman managed to be a mom and high-powered career woman, but it struck me nonetheless. Her response was very honest — she talked about issues her older son is having at school and how she felt that her and her husband not being around as much when he was younger probably had something to do with his current lack of motivation. She said that they learned their lessons and she doesn’t feel like their youngest is getting the short end of the parenting stick.

Driving home I was thinking about this question as it applies to my own life. It’s timely. The last few weeks have been brutal, both in terms of the amount of work I’ve had to get done but also in terms of my stress level and overall grumpiness. I hate that we moms judge ourselves, but I give myself poor marks as a mom during this time. Sure, I’ve still managed to cook dinner and get my daughter from school and play with her before bed, but I’ve been distracted, and easily annoyed and not very fun. I am lucky in that she is surrounded by a bunch of other less-stressed and less-grumpy people in her life — my husband, her teachers and friends at preschool, our babysitter, her grandparents — and now I truly understand the value of having a support network. It’s not just about having someone there to help when you can’t be there physically, but also about having others step in when emotionally you’re not at your best.

But I’d be lying if I said I don’t worry about how my work affects my daughter. I love that she knows that mom works and likes to work — it’s the type of role model I want her to have. But I worry about not being there for her fully, her seeing me stressed and upset and internalizing it, her not feeling like she can come to me at any time because I have to close the door to my office to get on the phone.

I’ve said before that I wouldn’t make a very good stay-at-home mom, but for the moment, I don’t think I am doing a great job as an overtime-working one either. I’d like to think that this is a tough moment and it will pass. But if you guys want to tell me that I am probably not damaging my child by working so much right now, it would be nice:)