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My daughter’s birthday party was two weeks ago and I have not yet written a single Thank You note.
There, I said it. I am a horribly impolite mom and I’m casting an impoliteness shadow over my daughter.
But I promise that I have GREAT excuses. Read the rest of this entry »
The results of the Working America 2008 Ask a Working Woman survey came out recently and as I read through them, the first emotion I felt was sadness. According to the findings, 50% of women surveyed said they would take on a second job if they had a bit more time (vs 20% who would catch up on sleep). After work and household responsibilities, almost half the women surveyed have no time or less than 1/2 hour a day for themselves.
And 80% believe that having kids hurts their prospects for career success and finding good jobs.
I am writing this while sitting on the bus, on my way back home from a day business trip to NYC. My feet are blistered despite the half-a-box of Band-Aids that I used up during the day of walking/running from one meeting to another. My right eye is bloodshot because I have completely failed to get any sleep this week (OK, last week and the week before that also.) My voice is coarse from all the talking and my right hand is cramping from all the typing. I have a fugly-looking red welt in my right shoulder from carrying my enormous laptop around all day. And I am too scared to look in my inbox because I’ve not yet gone on one business trip when either (1) there wasn’t some crisis on the site or (2) something going on at home.
And this was one of the better days. Read the rest of this entry »
We haven’t had a guest blogger here for a while, so it’s time. Today’s guest post is by Vera Babayeva, an active member of the Work It, Mom! community, budding entrepreneur, full time insurance claims specialist, and an amateur writer.
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My mother worries about me, a lot. This is how she describes me to family and friends, “my daughter has a full time job and plus she does a lot of crazy things.” The “crazy things” she is referring to are the various part time businesses I had within the past three years and my most recent business, www.womencanhaveitall.com.
She worries that I wear myself out, overwhelm myself unnecessarily, and don’t give enough attention to my hubby and kids. She worries that the “crazy things” I do are not worth what I may be giving up. She worries that I will end up divorced because I am so driven. She is proud of me and at the same time she is afraid and feels the need to tell me that, “I need to remember that I am a woman.”
That’s when my blood boils. “What’s your definition of a ‘woman?’ Does being a woman mean I have to keep my mouth shut, and only push my hubby to do what he wants and my kids and forget of my own existence. That’s what being a women is? Sacrificing yourself for everyone else and never thinking about yourself. I refuse.” I respond.
After such response I see her smiling with pride on the inside but she tries not to show it on her face. She still worries and says that I should be careful and not forget that I am a mom and a wife too.
Don’t worry mom. I very well realize the different roles I play. Being a mom and a wife is equally important to me as being myself. That’s what keeps me happy and makes me a better mom and wife. Some days I slow down, when the kids are sick or whatever else I have to deal with as a wife and mother. But the days I am going strong and pursuing my “crazy things,” are the days you should worry the least because it means that the family is doing well, allowing me to think more about myself. I love you mom and thank you for your worries.
What about you? What do you do to make your mom worry?
I don’t usually dread Mondays. I like fresh starts and the beginning of each week feels that way to me.
Not this one - both my husband and I are going on business trips. It took a bunch of juggling to make sure that our trips didn’t overlap. I moved several meetings and he convinced several colleagues who are traveling with him to go on different dates. Since I am taking the bus (to NYC) we decided that my trip should be first. My husband is flying so there is a chance of the plane being late or canceled and him coming home too late for me to leave for my trip. Read the rest of this entry »
If you’ve been reading this blog for a while (and if you haven’t, what’s wrong with you!?) you know that I have always been the main breadwinner in our household. This changed dramatically when I left my nicely paid investment job to launch this here, Work It, Mom!, but until that point I had always made a multiple of my husband’s salary. As I’ve written before, while I am proud to have been able to support our family I’ve often felt resentment at having so much pressure and my husband and I have had more than one “heated discussion” (why does this sound better than a fight?) about our situation. Read the rest of this entry »
A friend of mine was visiting this weekend. She just got engaged and we were sitting around talking about wedding plans and our other friends who recently got married. One of them is an uber-successful career woman, someone who has always been very ambitious. My friend who was visiting said that it made sense to her to wait to have kids until your career is more established. She told me she has no idea how I’ve kept it all together with my previous insane job, now running a company, and taking care of my daughter. She herself doesn’t plan on having kids for a while.
My daughter was born when I was 28. Our family comes from Russia and this is considered an ancient age to have your first child. But among our friends we were definitely on younger side when we became parents. I thought about how having a child would impact my career but I grew up with young parents and I’ve always wanted to be one. Same for my husband.
I’d be lying if I didn’t sometimes think that having a child later in my life, after my career and my business were a bit more established might have made things easier. Read the rest of this entry »
I am over at PunditMom today, guest blogging as part of Joanne’s great series, Mothers of Intention.
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I didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton in the Democratic primaries.
What seemed like an easy decision at first – I don’t like her for many reasons, both as a leader and policy-maker — became more difficult as I considered the fact that she was the FIRST. WOMAN. EVER. who could become President. The enormity of this achievement, the effect that I thought it could have on everything from pathetic maternity leave policies in the US to seeing more women at the top of large corporations wasn’t something I could just ignore. In the end, I decided that I couldn’t vote for Hillary just because she was a woman.
I believe I made the right decision and I am still not a big fan of hers. But after watching her campaign and seeing the ridiculous double standard that she consistently faced as a woman in a male-dominated field I now know that I’d stand up for her in a fight. Not that, you know, she’d need me or call me for help, but I would. Because as I watched her campaign I saw her deal with many of the same issues I’ve dealt with as a working woman and working mother in the male-dominated business world.
Right now I am sitting on the couch in our living room, surrounded by wrapping paper, gifts, ribbons, balloons, dishes, glasses, and numerous unidentified objects. I had to ask my husband to please bring my laptop from upstairs because I simply don’t have the physical energy to get up and get it. The idea of opening up my notebook with the to-do list of things I MUST get done before tomorrow is truly freaking me out.
Today is my daughter’s fourth birthday and we had our families over to celebrate. (She is having her kids party at a gymnastics place next weekend and I am so excited to have someone else clean up the mess.) It was only 10 of us but with all the cooking and preparations, a friend visiting in the middle of it all, and Father’s Day being on the same day (requiring numerous crafts activities and presents purchases) this weekend completely wiped me out. My husband asked how I am doing and I told him that I am too tired to complain.
As I got ready to start working my night shift I turned on some background TV and Jon & Kate Plus 8 was on. Read the rest of this entry »
Lisa Belkin has written another uber-piece in the New York Times Magazine about couples attempting to equally share childcare and household responsibilities and I’ve just had a chance to read through it. (Her original uber-piece being The Opt Out Revolution.)
It’s long, but if you’re married or have a partner or have been married or are just interested in family dynamics, you should read it. It is way too rich with detail for me to summarize, but a few things stuck me:
According to one researcher Ms. Belkin talks about in the article, “…the single-most-predictive factor of how equal a couple will be… is how equal their friends are.” Read the rest of this entry »