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Right now I am sitting on the couch in our living room, surrounded by wrapping paper, gifts, ribbons, balloons, dishes, glasses, and numerous unidentified objects. I had to ask my husband to please bring my laptop from upstairs because I simply don’t have the physical energy to get up and get it. The idea of opening up my notebook with the to-do list of things I MUST get done before tomorrow is truly freaking me out.
Today is my daughter’s fourth birthday and we had our families over to celebrate. (She is having her kids party at a gymnastics place next weekend and I am so excited to have someone else clean up the mess.) It was only 10 of us but with all the cooking and preparations, a friend visiting in the middle of it all, and Father’s Day being on the same day (requiring numerous crafts activities and presents purchases) this weekend completely wiped me out. My husband asked how I am doing and I told him that I am too tired to complain.
As I got ready to start working my night shift I turned on some background TV and Jon & Kate Plus 8 was on. It’s not the first time I’ve seen the show and I’ve experienced the awe of watching these parents manage their eight kids before. But as I sat here feeling exhausted and sorry for myself, I also started to feel like a bit of a wimp. Sure, I work a lot, do a lot around the house and have an overall packed schedule, but I only have one child! Here they are, taking care of eight kids and they are seemingly holding it together pretty well. Yes, I know it’s TV and I am sure they lose it here and there off-screen, but for the most part, it seems like they take things in stride.
I often feel similarly around my working mom friends who have more than one child. And I make sure to tell them that I think they are pretty incredible for doing it all while here I am, hardly holding it together with just one. They usually respond with something nice, like “Oh, c’mon, you have a ton on your plate, or “It’s not that big of a deal,” but I suspect that some of them secretly do think that I am a bit of a wimp.
And hey, maybe I am, but I am a work-life balancing wimp of a very happy, over-suragared, four year-old daughter who is sleeping now with her birtday crown next to her bed and who told me today that she loves to see my happy face. I’ll take it.
This entry was posted on Monday, June 16th, 2008 at 1:33 am and is filed under Balancing Act, Parenting & Family, Your life.
Tags: balancing work and family, Jon and Kate Plus 8, stress, to-do list
June 16th, 2008 at 2:58 am
You’re only a wimp if you don’t take care of the most important thing - your daughter - and you clearly do that. I’m betting that if you had 8 or more you’d find the way that makes it work. We all would (I like to THINK I would).
A very happy birthday to your daughter. 4 years old seems like such a big one to me. 3 is still little. 4 is getting to be a big girl. How sweet that she likes to see your smile. We get to see it all of the time since it’s your profile pic but it says so much to hear that from your kiddo. Love it!
I’m just going to be totally lame here, too, because I’m watching the game and trying to catch up with WIM and say LET’S GO CELTICS. Hee. That one is for your hubby! Happy Father’s Day to him.
June 16th, 2008 at 4:56 am
Wow! Fourth birthday and Father’s Day in the same day. That’s pretty big. Four is such a cute age.
I’ve never seen Jon & Kate, but I’m with you. I’m always in awe of women who are successfully able to manage a few children. I’ve always thought that my energy level would never permit that.
Have you ever seen the family on TLC (the last name escapes me), but I think they’re on their 17th child. This show fascinates me. It’s as if they have their own school room. The mom home schools all the children and they’re very well behaved. Oh, and their names all start with the letter J.
June 16th, 2008 at 5:05 am
Hmm! Interesting. I feel that as women we justify too often and too much. I am not allowed to open my mouth in my family about the difficulties I am facing because compared to my siblings I have a blissful life, a husband, live-in nanny, job and two kids. While my sister has three kids, no live-in nanny, full time demanding job and she is a part time student getting her BS/MS. My brother supports his family of three kids on his own. His wife does not work and one of his children is hearing impaired. My other brother is always busy and stressed, (I still don’t understand why). Well the fact is whatever we have in our life is the choice we made. So we really shouldn’t go around and tell others that they have it better because it appears that they have less responsibility or whatever. We all got something and whatever it is, it was the choice we made. I chose to marry the man that I did, I chose to have two kids, I chose to have a live-in nanny (it’s costing me money, it’s not free, so don’t be jealous). When I tell my family about my aspirations, they think I’ve lost it and have nothing better do. Sometimes they say things like, “why don’t you spend more time being a mom.” Well the fact is my aspirations make me a better mom. See, I am justifying too. This is something I am working on, to not justify.
June 16th, 2008 at 10:58 am
Wishing your little one a Happy Birthday!
I loved watching John and Kate … until my husband recently canceled our satellite prescription (that’s another story — ha ha). I was always amazed when I saw Kate and John manage twins and sextuplets. In one episode, the family is preparing to go to Disneyland and Kate takes time to get her hair done. John needs her car and so they meet up at the salon. Kate is so exhausted and asks him not to go get the trailer. He says that he hast to go that night and she continues to whine …
I so identified with her in that moment. True, I just have one child, but I’ve felt that exhausted after a long day’s work, cookong the family meal and then entertaining my son. Ii’ve so whined for my husband not to do something because I was so daggone exhausted.
So, I think whether you have one or eight kids, there are unifying themes of motherhood. Each of us has struggles and we all somehow get through it.
June 16th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
I use the show as inspiration. If she can run a household of 10 I can certainly do it with 4.
June 16th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
I’ve never seen the show, but my motto is that it’s amazing what you can do if you don’t know you can’t. I think, as mothers, we manage and juggle and balance because we have to — not doing it isn’t an option. The challenges may be different when there are many kids in the family, but it’s no less difficult when there’s just one child, it’s just different.
You are not a wimp!
June 16th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
Happy Birthday to your little girl! Whether you have one child or six, raising kids with their own personalities and needs is a challenge. And Nataly you’ve got your own business going too! Instead of feeling like a wimp, feel proud that you’re doing so well for your husband and daughter!
June 16th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
One of the main reasons I love that show is that it makes me feel like, as a commenter said above, if she can survive it with 8 kids, I can certainly make it with 2. Truly, the show makes me feel better when I’m in a high-stress period managing a busy household with two toddlers! It’s like therapy!
June 17th, 2008 at 12:24 am
Happy Birthday to your little girl.
John and Kate - I enjoy watching that show.
Everything in life happens for a reason and I was given what I was meant to have…2 gorgeous kids that make me so proud every single day.
A wimp would never start her own business…WORK IT NATALY! You’re showing your little girl how to WORK IT!!:)
June 17th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Nataly - i do not think ANYONE would secretly think you are a wimp! secretly jealous that you started and continue to run a succesful online site for working moms while also a wife and mother? YES!
plus - on jon and kate - they have the whole film crew there all the time and many ‘helpers’ that work for free. do you really think the crew can resist those kids? or not talk to kate? comeon! it’s not wimpy to ask for help!
strength and success is knowing when to ask for help. You know you dont want to clean up after kids for the kids party - so you are having at the gym place! that is SMART! not wimpy! why do we think it’s better to kill ourselves in the name of strength? i dont understand this philosophy!
you are smart! you are strong! you are a great mom! own it, love it, hold your head high
June 17th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
I saw one show where she had a lady come over and do nothing but fold laundry. If I had that, I think I could manage a dozen kids.
With all TV, I don’t think what you see is what you get.
June 19th, 2008 at 1:47 am
I agree with the previous poster– J&K get a LOT of help so don’t be so impressed.
September 19th, 2008 at 11:21 pm
Do NOT be impressed by this woman or her family, and certainly do not think you are a wimp!
This family has had mountains of help since the very beginning, she is hardly a supermom. I would bet that each and every poster on this blog works harder than Kate ever has.
She is also a complete liar, and was caught in another just a few days ago:
http://blog.psychic-wisdom.net/2008/09/20/a-recipe-for-disaster/