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I am always really interested in studies and surveys about relationships and money. I don’t know why, perhaps it’s the voyeurist in me — getting a chance to peak into a private aspect of the lives of other couples, something we never talk about with our friends. So when I saw this article from Money magazine I dove right in.
The article mentions several studies that were conducted about ways married couples handled money issues. I read through the findings with my jaw dropping more and more as the article went on:
- In one study, 50% of the couples came up with completely different numbers when asked to estimate their family’s income and net worth.
- 1/3 of those surveyed said they’ve lied to their partner about money.
And here’s my favorite:
- 1 in 5 admitted hiding purchases from their spouse.
Wow. I don’t get this. At all. I’ve never hidden a purchase from my husband, save for a present I was buying for him that I was hiding in the closet. We both know where our money is, what investments we have, how much we spend on food per month. I am sure if you asked us we’d be off by a bit here and there, but completely different answers? No.
I am probably more of the money manager in the family — I like to say it’s because I’ve always worked in finance but my husband would probably say it’s because I am more anal. Regardless, while I pay the bills (online, always), we have a Yodlee account which we both regularly check to see the status of our various accounts and so on. We’ve done this when we hardly made any money and at times when we were doing really well financially. I think it’s the responsible thing to do.
But I have a good friend who has a separate account from her husband and so does he. They also have a joint account into which they contribute for household expenses, like mortgage, food, etc. She told me that how she chooses to use the money in her personal account is her business entirely and he rarely knows or asks about it.
How do you handle money management in your family? Have you ever hidden purchases from your spouse or partner? If you and your partner were asked about your family’s income or savings, would both of you know the answer?
This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 1st, 2008 at 12:37 pm and is filed under Family, Money.
Tags: marriage, Money, money survey, relationships
July 1st, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Hate to admit it but the bulk of the financial juggling I leave to my husband. It’s not that I’m not capable, I juggle mutli-million dollar accounts at work, it’s just that he enjoys it more than I do. He keeps me well informed and asks my opinion on most things.If I don’t know something, it’s on my shoulders. I do pay bills and participate but not as much as he would like. He tried to pull my attention into the investment area and get me more in tune with our holdings.
We’ve always had shared accounts and neither one of us makes purchases over $100 without checking it with each other. Except for grocery shopping, that is!
July 1st, 2008 at 2:33 pm
My husband used to lie to me about purchases, mostly because he thought I would get mad at him for buying things that he didn’t need. I am all for splurging, as long as we have the money. Now, we both know about our money situation equally and it’s really helped our finances. We both know how much money we have to spend and how much we’re saving, so it makes us both feel good.
July 1st, 2008 at 9:56 pm
My husband does the finances because I prefer not to. I handle money matters and numbers at work so I want to take a break from all that at home. However, he keeps me informed about what’s going on and I keep myself informed! I can always check our joint accounts. We do online banking and I have the passwords and can log in anytime I want. We also keep our monthly budget on a spreadsheet which we can both update and balance to our accounts, and which we can both check and verify. It’s very hard to keep anything secret even if we want to. In fact, we try to buy each other’s presents with cash so we don’t accidentally find out what we’re getting by looking at on-line records of purchases and merchants. But other than that, we talk about our finances especially major purchases! I don’t get lying about them. To us marriage is a partnership and that includes jointly taking care of our fianancial well-being. How can you “embezzle” from your own spouse and hurt your own finances?
July 1st, 2008 at 10:37 pm
I have been married for seven years now and a year ago I finally decided to only have joint accounts and combine all our money and investments. Except for the 401k, his name is not on it but he is the beneficiary. I was hesitant about combining money at first because of all the horror stories I heard. But then after living together so long, we build a strong relationship and trust each other. I am well aware of my husbands income and all the expenses he incurs. I pay all the bills and review all his credit card bills.
Sometimes I will lie about the cost of the shoes or a dress that I bought. If I bought shoes for $90 I will say it was only $50.
My husband is well aware about our money and sometimes will ask me to confirm.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:52 pm
I pay all the bills and do the shopping. We have a joint account and both have access to it. I do eveything online and keep track of our finances on my computer - to which he could access at any time. I don’t get the lying thing either. I sometimes feel guilty when I purchase something for myself but hubby assures me it’s okay. I think that ’s a Mom thing - feeling like purchases for yourself are not needed. He sometimes buys a little more than was on “the list” when he goes to the store, but most times a “please stick to the list” and a pat on the butt before he leaves cures that. Hahaha!!
July 5th, 2008 at 1:37 am
I think its better for the woman to manege the money were more responisible and mature i mean theirs some men that can do it but its bearly any
July 6th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
I’m actually surprised the number is not higher than 1 in 5. I’ve met a handful of folks who hide entire credit cards or bank accounts. Sad!