Comments on: Does having kids make you happy?

By: Telling the truth about parenting to my childless friends - Work It, Mom! Blog - Work It, Mom!

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 18:15:31 +0000

[...] Talk about pressure. I mean, serious pressure. First of all, I think being a parent is like giving birth — it doesn’t matter how much you hear about the experience, you have no idea what it’s like until you actually go through it. (Someone told me that giving birth is like having really bad cramps…. ha!) Secondly, everyone’s experience is extremely personal and different. But most importantly, I think if you don’t have kids it’s impossible to understand how the joy you get from them can make the insanity, the stress, the exhaustion that comes with being a working mom worth it. [...]

By: Leah Bell

Leah Bell — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 21:12:22 +0000

Try reading “Tuesdays with Morrie” I know it is passe’, but I re-read it recently after having kids and appreciated it in a very different way than I did when I read it before having kids. Basically what I mean is, society is telling us very selfish materialistic things. We create our culture and our culture is down on kids in my opinion. Family is important and meaningful and yet we are burdened by it. That is not the way we should see it at all. Children are a blessing and one that we should truly appreciate, but I think we try to do too much, to have more, and that is why we are unhappier.

By: Swistle

Swistle — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 01:49:42 +0000

That seems so hard to judge; I’m surprised they’re even acting like it’s possible to study it scientifically. But before I had children, I was so unhappy WANTING CHILDREN, it’s hard for me to see how I could have been more happy without them.

By: Sugar

Sugar — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 21:29:51 +0000

There’s a difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is in the now, whereas joy is an overall feeling. You can have joy in your life without being all happy bappy all day. I mean, if you need that happy feeling 24/7, get some Zoloft. But joy… that’s just a state of being. That’s looking at your life, in the present, the past, the future, and saying, “Hhmmm… this is sweet.”

By: jenni

jenni — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 20:18:53 +0000

The greatest amount of grief I get from being a mom is being a SAHM. For some reason is my circle it means I’m ignorant. Which is very irritating.

My kids, all four of them, are stressful. I haven’t EVER been this stressed out. It’s a lot of work and effort. You have to keep yourself in check so they will follow your lead. There’s just those days where you want to throw a tantrum.

I watch my single friends and they don’t have that peace in life I have. They seem like they are searching. Now, I’m not saying being single makes you vacant. This is just my observation.

I think that having children gives you a sense of fullfillment that nothing else can give you. It’s the happiness you get deep within your soul when you watch them be born. When you hear their first laugh. When you watch them get on the school bus for the first time.

Happiness is a relative term. Happiness can not be given to you by an outside source but is something that comes from the inside. It is dependent on the individual. Children or no children.

By: Lia

Lia — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 16:52:26 +0000

Eeeeeeee. Ummm….Have been struggling with this for the last few years….having children has made every day about 10x more stressful. It has been deadly to our relationship. OUr child is very “spirited” and by the end of the day we are both exhausted and just want to go to our mental happy places rather than interact with each other. Cleaning up the same messes over and over and over day after day is the most soul-sucking endeavor I can imagine. We love our child to death and when I ask myself if I would change it if I could the answer is “no”, but man, having kids can really do a number on a person’s mental well-being and relationship. I realize everyone’s experience is different, and also that the “grass is always greener”, and know that if I didn’t have kids I would feel unfulfilled. When things are going well with my child’s behavior, we have some really good times and I wouldn’t trade it for anything…it’s just the other 85% of the time that makes me want to check myself into an institution just to get some “quiet time”. It has been a major challenge for us.

By: Kate

Kate — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 22:31:03 +0000

I am happy sometimes. I think we have a tendency to forget that we are not going to be happy all the time. There are times my kids make me laugh, bring me joy and make me crazy. All a part of a normal day for us.

By: Diane

Diane — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 01:03:41 +0000

Hmm. That article bothered me, too. Andrea: I like what you say about the difference between joy and happiness.

By: Kim

Kim — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 00:42:21 +0000

I am happy having a son, and I cannot imagine life without him. Before I had my son, I did have a life, and it was a different feeling. I love him very much, but I loved being by myself too 10 years ago. So, there is a different type of love to have. He is my favorite person in the world !

By: alison

alison — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 17:31:43 +0000

As a parent, there are always conflicting feelings and conflicting things you “should” be doing, so I can see that parents are possilby less happy. However, I didn’t have kids to make me happy. I don’t remember a moment where I sat down with my husband and said, “Kids will make us happier. . .let’s do it!” Ha! Kids might make me grumpy, exasperated, and tired more than they make me happy, but it’s a life experience that I wouldn’t trade for pure happiness.