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A few days ago I had a lunch meeting with a business contact, a guy. (Yes, I think his gender is relevant.) We talked about a few issues I needed his help with and when our lunch arrived he said something that startled me:
“You know, you talk like a guy. If I didn’t know you were a woman, I’d think I was working with a man.”
I think he saw the puzzled look in my eyes after he said this because he went on to clarify that in his experience, few women are as direct as I was in our interactions. He told me that he works in an office with many women and he is not used to dealing with someone like me.
I honestly don’t know if I should have been offended, flattered, or something entirely different. Read the rest of this entry »
I was on the phone with a business contact earlier today. We were having a great conversation and he suggested that we meet in person. Since he is based in a different city, I responded by saying something like: “That’s a great idea! I am going to be there on (such and such) date and would love to meet. I try not to travel too much because I have a young daughter and if you have free time, this would work out well.”
As soon as I said this, I’d realized that I probably made the mistake of outing my mom-identity too soon in our professional relationship. After all, this guy has an important job with an important company that could help Work It, Mom! in the future. And here I was, saying that I don’t like to travel too much because I am a mom. Read the rest of this entry »
I was at a restaurant for lunch yesterday and there were two women sitting at a table next to ours. While I was waiting for my lunch date to arrive I overheard them talking. I can’t make this stuff up:
Woman #1: “Did you hear that Jill got a new job?”
Woman #2: ” Yes, I ran into her husband at the school and he told me. It sounds amazing actually, but it’s full-time.”
Woman #1: “I know! She told me last time I saw her. It’s pretty intense and probably involves some travel. I just don’t get how she is going to pull it off and still find time for her kids. I don’t mean to judge, but I don’t think I could be a great mom if I worked full-time.” Read the rest of this entry »
It’s been about a year since I last had a boss.
The boss I had at the time that I made the whole steady-career-to-full-time-entrepreneur change wasn’t a nice one. He was passive aggressive, liked to embarrass people, always blamed me or someone else if anything went wrong, and gave very little credit if things went right. I never cried at work — mostly because I think it’s bad for women to show so much emotion in the workplace — but I often ran to the bathroom or came home on the verge of tears from dealing with him.
Not having this person in my life has been a relief. But let me come clean and tell you that sometimes I really miss having a boss. Yes, even a boss who drove me nuts for five years. And here’s why: Read the rest of this entry »
I know this is a completely theoretical question for 99.9% of us, but I like to think about it anyway.
I spent the last 10 years of my career, before launching Work It, Mom!, doing work that was interesting, stimulating, often exciting, but work that I was not passionate about. Due to a lot of factors, not the least of which is being an immigrant to this country, I’ve always known that I needed to support myself and in addition, be able to help my parents (and my grandparents), if possible. This meant that I chose my career path with money very much in mind.
Almost every working mom I know who works full-time has told me that she would love to do her job but on a part-time basis. And according to a survey that came out last year, nearly 80% of women want to work part-time. Part-time work seems to be an ideal, most coveted arrangement for working moms — one that would allow us enough time to pursue our career ambitions and spend time with our kids and families.
But according to new Australian study (thanks Elizabeth for this heads up!) the reality of part-time work is far from what we might idealize it to be. Read the rest of this entry »
First, a confession: I am really unmotivated to work today.
This is rare. Correction, this has been rare since I changed careers and started doing something I actually enjoy. But I’m human, it happens, and the fact that I’ve been sick for days and have just returned from a business-trip-turned-weekend-away-with-my-husband to face a pile of to-dos definitely has something to do with it. Oh, and the fact that just as I was trying to get energized to start working this morning the Internet died didn’t help much.
So here I am, unmotivated to work but needing desperately to start plowing through the to-do list. This isn’t a time when I can throw caution to the wind, call it a bad day, and just chill out watching stupid TV (but how I wish!). This is a time when I have to get creative about finding my motivation. And so I figured there’s no better way to do it than to post about it here, so you can check on me later — and hopefully share your own tips for how to get motivated at work.
Here are my ideas and tips for getting motivated to do work when you’re not feeling motivated:
Re-write your to-do list. Read the rest of this entry »
I know, it’s a very long title, but it’s the best I can do after 2 days of networking, 2 days of walking around NYC, and all of this while consuming inordinate quantities of Tylenol/Emergen-C/funky Chinese herbs the guy at Whole Foods promised would cure all my ills.
I spent Thursday and Friday at the Blogher Business Conference. I am glad I went — although it was a big investment of both time and money for a small (but mighty!) company like Work It, Mom!. The best thing about business conferences is the opportunity to meet new people and connect in person with people I know only virtually. I think email and phone can go a long way to create great working relationships, but there’s nothing like being able to talk face-to-face and conferences offer a way to do a bunch of these mini-meetings at once.
I must say one of the highlights was meeting our awesome Mir in person, after working with her for almost a year. Read the rest of this entry »
I know, you’re thinking “OK, Nataly, why don’t you tell us how you really feel about networking?”
But in all seriousness, I feel that networking is a task that we — and yes, by this huge generalization, I mean we = women — overlook most often and don’t do enough of in our careers, businesses, and life in general. I know this from my personal experiences and from those of my female colleagues and friends. I am sure there are plenty of reasons for it, but this post isn’t about that. It is about what I’ve learned about networking and my desire to encourage you to make it a regular part of our routine, whatever your career or business might be. Believe me when I say it’s really good for you.
My 5 golden rules of networking:
Rule #1: If you want to succeed in your business, your career, or your life, you MUST network.
My first job out of college was for a huge consulting firm famous for the way it invested in training its business analysts. They put us through tons of training — financial analysis, client management, presentation skills, and much more — but we were never taught about networking. My next job was in strategy for a small company, where I had a great boss who taught me about business, running companies, and sales and marketing — but I don’t remember him saying anything about networking. When I took a job in venture capital my boss told me that to find new deals I had to network, but that was it. In my 10+ year career, no-one ever taught me about networking but I so much wish someone had.
I learned the importance of networking only when I decided to start my own company (Work It, Mom!, of course). My partner, Victoria, and I were introduced by someone I worked with and after a year of business lunches we decided to start a company together. When it came time to find our great team of bloggers, I started reaching out to several whose personal blogs I liked and always asked if there were others they’d recommend. I have a great group of extremely sharp and experienced people to whom I go for advice about growing my own company and I’ve met them all through networking. Networking means connecting with people, creating relationships, and expanding the circle of people to whom you can go for advice, support, career direction, job leads, and answers to specific questions. I don’t know a single person successful person who doesn’t make networking part of their daily life.
Rule #2: The best time to network is when you don’t need anything. Read the rest of this entry »
A friend of mine recently got a pathetically low raise at work after having a spectacular year there. Sure, the economy is in bad shape, but her company did great and she contributed to the performance. She’s been there a few years and she knows for a fact that two of her colleagues — both men — received higher raises for similar performance. When she told me, I immediately said that she has to talk to her boss and negotiate for a better package. “Be confident in your work and your abilities, and go in there knowing that what you’re asking for is right,” I said, in my most convincing voice.
I stand behind my advice, but I’d be lying if I pretended that I’ve always followed it in my career. In truth, when I read articles about things women do at work that make it more difficult for them to earn more money or attain leadership roles, I nod not only because I’ve seen this type of behavior but also because I’ve been guilty of it. And I thought this would be as good a time as any to come clean about (at least) three stereotypes about women at work that I helped prove right: Read the rest of this entry »