Before I tell you why I don’t think I am a natural at being a mom let me tell you about something I think I AM a natural at:

Writing. I’ve always been drawn to it, I’ve always loved doing it, and it’s something that comes easily to me. (Now, I didn’t say good writing, just writing.) English is my second language, one that I worked my butt off to learn from scratch at 13, and yet I find writing in it easy and pleasant.

Public speaking. OK, you can be a little jealous if you want, but I’ve never had any issues with speaking in front of people. The more the merrier, actually. Sure, my cheeks flush a bit and my heart beat fastens, but from excitement not from nerves. I love it, I get a kind of a high from doing it.

But becoming and being a mom has not felt like something I was a natural at. Read the rest of this entry »

On Friday I was in New York, presenting Work It, Mom! to a panel of investors. (It was so much fun I can’t even find the words to describe it. Yes, I am kidding. Having a room full of people question every bit of your business strategy, ideas, direction and your own judgment pierces through even the toughest of egos and I don’t have one of those.) This was an event organized for women technology entrepreneurs so there were only women in the waiting area (they called it the Green Room and I called it the stress room).

I was talking to a fellow woman entrepreneur, telling her about Work It, Mom!, and in the spirit of we’re both working moms we know how crazy it is, asked her: “You have kids, right?” Read the rest of this entry »

For the past month or so we’ve been raising capital for Work It, Mom!. As a young company we need investment capital so that we can grow to a scale where we can be a real business. And having been on the other side of investing for many years, let me tell you, it is SOOOO much easier there than here.

On an average day of dealing with potential investors I feel mostly like a punching bag after a really brutal workout. Being questioned endlessly about everything from our mission (”Are there really enough working moms out there who would care to connect with each other?) to our product (”Your site doesn’t show that you have a good sense of what women want — where is all the celebrity content and diet tips?”) is difficult, but it’s also very personal. (When I said that business is personal I really meant it.) Sometimes I truly feel beaten down.

But here’s the upside: Read the rest of this entry »

I recently spoke at a great conference for women entrepreneurs and there met up with a few of my friends who don’t have kids. One of them runs her own successful business and two are plugging away in the corporate/financial world. All three are in their mid-30s and I guess the clock is ticking because all three asked me the same question at some point during the day:

I am petrified about having kids and balancing my demanding career with being a mom — can you tell me the truth about what it’s like?

Talk about pressure. Read the rest of this entry »

I am late to blog about the article in Newsweek about recent studies showing that having kids does not make you happy. But after I read it I had to think about it for a bit.

According to the article:

Parents experience lower levels of emotional well-being, less frequent positive emotions and more frequent negative emotions than their childless peers,” says Florida State University’s Robin Simon, a sociology professor who’s conducted several recent parenting studies, the most thorough of which came out in 2005 and looked at data gathered from 13,000 Americans by the National Survey of Families and Households. “In fact, no group of parents—married, single, step or even empty nest—reported significantly greater emotional well-being than people who never had children.”

That sounds pretty definitive, doesn’t it? I mean, I think if I didn’t already have a daughter and I read this I’d have second thoughts about having children. Read the rest of this entry »

We haven’t had a guest blogger here for a while, so it’s time. Today’s guest post is by Vera Babayeva, an active member of the Work It, Mom! community, budding entrepreneur, full time insurance claims specialist, and an amateur writer.

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My mother worries about me, a lot. This is how she describes me to family and friends, “my daughter has a full time job and plus she does a lot of crazy things.” The “crazy things” she is referring to are the various part time businesses I had within the past three years and my most recent business, www.womencanhaveitall.com.

She worries that I wear myself out, overwhelm myself unnecessarily, and don’t give enough attention to my hubby and kids. She worries that the “crazy things” I do are not worth what I may be giving up. She worries that I will end up divorced because I am so driven. She is proud of me and at the same time she is afraid and feels the need to tell me that, “I need to remember that I am a woman.”

That’s when my blood boils. “What’s your definition of a ‘woman?’ Does being a woman mean I have to keep my mouth shut, and only push my hubby to do what he wants and my kids and forget of my own existence. That’s what being a women is? Sacrificing yourself for everyone else and never thinking about yourself. I refuse.” I respond.

After such response I see her smiling with pride on the inside but she tries not to show it on her face. She still worries and says that I should be careful and not forget that I am a mom and a wife too.

Don’t worry mom. I very well realize the different roles I play. Being a mom and a wife is equally important to me as being myself. That’s what keeps me happy and makes me a better mom and wife. Some days I slow down, when the kids are sick or whatever else I have to deal with as a wife and mother. But the days I am going strong and pursuing my “crazy things,” are the days you should worry the least because it means that the family is doing well, allowing me to think more about myself. I love you mom and thank you for your worries.

What about you? What do you do to make your mom worry?

OK, maybe not boring, but less interesting.

Before I became a mom I read a lot of books, could hold a pretty solid political or business conversation, wouldn’t miss a new foreign film or an opera debut, and had endless creative inspirations, everything from making a custom crossword puzzle for my parents’ anniversary to writing books. Now… well, I don’t need to tell you about now. Now I feel pretty awesome about myself if I can finish a magazine article in under a week and I cook something new (new being defined as something I’ve not cooked in a week, so not very ambitious there.) Read the rest of this entry »