Yesterday at the gym I overheard the following conversation between two men, probably in their mid to late 30s:

Very muscular guy #1: “So did you hear, Jack’s wife decided to turn down that job offer?”

Less muscular guy #2: “The one her old company gave her?”

Guy #1: “Yes, the promotion she got while being on maternity leave. It sounded like a sweet gig, but Jack told me that she likes being a stay-at-home mom and turned it down.”

Guy #2: ” So she is just going to stay home now with the kid?”

Guy #1: “I guess so, she said she likes it that way. I think Jack was disappointed.”

Guy #2: “Well, I see that. It’s kind of unfair - all the pressure is on him now. I mean, I think they are OK financially as long as he keeps his job, but he was talking before about looking around. Not sure he can do that now, right?”

Guy #1: “Yeah, I am not sure he is going to risk it without a second income as a security cushion. Tough for him.”

I have to admit that this was the first time that I’d been able to eavesdrop on a conversation two men were having about moms–usually it’s the women talking about each other’s or friends’ choices to work or stay home. I tried to not appear like I was listening, but I was struck by it. With all the issues and questions and personal quandaries that surround making the choice to stay at home or return to work after having kids, I have to admit that I’ve never seen the issue of whether this is fair to your husband or not come up. Read the rest of this entry »