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The “I Can Be Fitter” Group here at Work It, Mom! is causing me some major anxiety.
I used to be fantastically fit. But that was, like, a lifetime ago. Right now, I am a slug. Or, at least, I feel like I am a slug. Aside from bench-pressing about 20 percent of my body weight in toddler, I don’t get much exercise.
I want to — I really want to. According to William J. Evans, director of the Nutrition, Metabolism, and Exercise Laboratory at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences, “Regular aerobic exercise increases life expectancy by decreasing the risk of a host of chronic diseases.” And I know I need to — I’m 35 years old, those last few pounds of baby weight aren’t going to melt off by themselves. I just can’t figure out how to squeeze a work out into my already over-scheduled schedule.
I commute 40 miles each way to my office, a trip that can take 45 minutes or nearly two hours, depending on traffic, the weather, and the time of day. Most of the fitness and exercise classes that are offered by my town’s community center start by 6 p.m. — there’s no way for me to make it back there on time.
Work out at home? It’s a great idea, in theory. In practice, though? I never do it. If I’m home, I’m doing laundry, or cooking, or cleaning, or doing freelance work, or wrangling the youngest kids, and if I’m not doing any of those things, then I’m probably asleep — or longing to be. After getting up with the kids durng the night — and it seems like someone or another is always up at night — the idea of getting up even earlier just so I can sweat seems torturous. Work out after the kids are in bed? That’s when I catch up on my freelance work (please note the timestamp on this blog post)!
What’s stopping me from joining a gym? Myself, I guess. And time. I don’t know when I’d go, even if I really wanted to sweat in public. (Yeah, I don’t have a good answer for this one. Especially since some experts say that three 10-minute workouts can be as good for you as a single 30-minute session.)
Compounding the problem is the guilt. I already spend so much time away from my kids; how can I justify taking more time for myself?
OK, after writing all of this out, even I can tell that they’re really just bad excuses. But still… I’m stuck. How do you working moms make time to exercise?
This entry was posted on Monday, February 18th, 2008 at 12:01 am and is filed under Making Time, The Juggle, Working? Living?.
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February 18th, 2008 at 6:33 am
Hi–I am a 44 year old mom and have not been able to fit in exercise for year. I finally joined a 5:30 AM class and it is working out better than I thought. It is a nice, relaxing way to start the day (after getting used to it) and it really doesn’t interfere with anything that might add to my guilt. I just have to be pretty organized on Sunday-having clothes, food, etc. ready but after 6 weeks, it seems to be the only time I can justify. But give yourself a break. I don’t think I could have done this much before now.
February 18th, 2008 at 9:00 am
I have taken up walking. I wear a pedomenter and have a daily minimum and maximum goal. I have found ways to increase my walking without additional time at a gym or away from the house. While at work I will many times find the longest route to the restroom, conference room, etc. I usually take about a 15 minute afternoon break and walk around the office building (I’ve also found this time really helps clear my head and makes me more productive in the afternoons). At home, I walk laps through my house in the evening. For me, this has worked really well and I can already tell a difference in how I feel and I’m even starting to slowly see a few pounds coming off.
February 18th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
Mel’s comment reminded me of something I read recently. People who wear a step-counter take qualitatively more steps in a day. Maybe you should get yourself one.
It’s because you were super-fit before: the contrast between then and now is too great to ignore, but I’ll bet you’re more active than you realize.
I remember my grandmother working out to a TV program, and the three of us would “work out” with her. (My grandmother, I hasten to reassure you, was only 39 when I was born!)
February 18th, 2008 at 9:28 pm
I wake up at 3:52 a.m. and run on the treadmill and elliptical machine for a total of 40-50 minutes. I then shower and get ready for work. I want to spend my evenings with my family and this is ideal for me.
February 19th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
This is my huge dilemma, too, and I’ve finally had to write it into my schedule. The girls know that some days mommy is going to work out in the same room they are in and they will have to handle their own little fights and stay out of the way so they don’t get kicked. Seriously. Kicked the little one once. Took her out at the knee. If I was in better shape I would have kicked her in the eye instead. Goals, it’s all about the goals ;).
February 19th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Franki: Thanks for the reality check (and for telling me to give myself a break)!
Mel: Great idea… I’m going to make myself take a break at work and just walk around. I work in a huge building — if I hit every stairwell on my walk, I’m sure I could burn quite a few calories.
MaryP: That’s such a good point. I took a minute to think about how much activity I actually get, and while I don’t consider any of it “working out,” per se, there’s more activity than I thought there was. Still room for improvement, though!
Syl: You wake up WHEN? I bow down… *bows, bows*
Mandy: “If I was in better shape…” you slay me!
February 19th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
First off give yourself credit for making the decision to be aware of your health. Health is always a big issue for anyone. The first step I would recommend is that you have to get to a happy place you want to go workout. It always starts in the mind first. I know it’s not easy to let go of guilt but focusing on what you want versus what you don’t want I realize is what hinders people to go do anything. Not just working out. This may be a far fetched way of thinking about it but people I help set goals with I tell them, to first interrupt the thought. So when you start thinking about working out, just decide to pay attention to those thoughts and catch them. As soon as you recognize the unwanted thought, then see if you can go find something happy to do like a favorite song or tv show. This is call a pattern interrupt. You want (not need) to change the thinking first. Do this for just a few days and notice the energy you’ve freed up. Let me know how it goes. And be gentle on yourself. It’s all a process. Be well.
February 19th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
I feel your pain! Before I was married, I worked out 5 days a week. Once I get married, that got whittled down to 3 times a week & now that I have a 2 year old it is usally 1-2 days a week (if that). I can’t say belonging to the gym is an issue since I have an Elliptical machine & treadmill in my basement. It ultimately comes down to energy level. I can work out in the mornings if my husband is home so he can wake up with my daughter. I made a goal of running in a 5K in April so that is motivation to get up at 5:50 AM to start my “training.”
I hear you regarding feeling guiltly about spending time away from your kids–which is why I thought it was brilliant of me to have my equipment in the basement. However, didn’t think through how interesting a moving treadmill is to a 2 year old–yeah, can’t exercise with her in the room either now..
February 19th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
I joined the gym in our building and made a point to go at least 3 times a week during lunch. It worked out well until November when I took on a huge project and the idea of lunch was laughable. The only way it works for me is to put a firm time on the calendar and not move it. My secretary knows the appointment can’t be moved and helps make sure that I have no excuse, lame or otherwise, to miss the gym. I am beginning my routine again in March.
For me it also helps to have a class or friend to go with. I am much less likely to blow off a meeting/gym trip when someone else is expecting me to be there than I am when it is just me.
I like the step counter idea and may steal that to see how much I’m doing.
Good Luck!
February 19th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
Abby: Thank you! That’s an incredibly important point, about focusing on what you want rather than what you don’t want and practicing pattern interrupt. I will keep that in mind…
Melissa: I can totally picture your daughter being fascinated by the tredmill… If I had the room to have big exercise equipment in the house, I’d be in the same boat! My youngest two (3 and 1 years old) think the big pilates ball is their plaything, and, consequently, I’ve barely used it — ever.
klg: Great idea, having a friend to work out with. I think I might try to find a way to go the class route — if I can find one that I can fit into my schedule, I won’t want to waste money by missing class. In the meantime… today, I took a mid-afternoon walk around the building, and ran up every (3- to 4-story) stairwell in the place (I wore comfy shoes). By the end of my walk, my legs were a little sore — so I think this may be a good thing!
February 20th, 2008 at 11:36 am
Except for the 5 kids part (I have 2), I TOTALLY could be the author of this post.
Since I am a classic overachiever, I try to commit myself to 3-5 workouts, etc. etc. and then kick myself when I don’t follow through. So I decided just this morning that I will renew my “walk up the stairs” club (some coworkers and I used to walk up and down our 7 story building’s stairs a couple of times during lunch last year). Even if I do it a couple of times a week, it gives me a workout and gets me away from the computer for 10 minutes. I’d spend that gabbing about this week’s episode of Lost easily.
Also, with our busy schedule, we (or at least I) usually (read: always) sacrifice my girlfriend time in order to get everything else done. I like the posts that mention having a buddy - this way we could kill two birds with one stone — exercise time for even 15-30 minutes AND friend time, too!!
February 20th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Hi, Kim J! I’m so glad you relate to this post… I totally relate to your comment, especially the last part, about sacrificing my girlfriend time… that makes workign out with a friend more appealing to me, too…
February 20th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
wow such good ideas! i can completely relate to this post and was thinking “wow! i have the same excuses!” and then read that last line where you said they are still lame excuses LOL!! i didnt want to identify at that point but too late! i am going to try to implement these ideas too! (except for waking up before 4am - how do you DO that?)
February 20th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Here’s an idea for summer — kids in swim lessons while you do laps in the adult lanes. Granted, you’ll have to wait until your youngest is 30 months and ready for the “toddler transition” class, but the day will come…
February 21st, 2008 at 11:13 am
Don’t wait until you finish all your other to-dos to fit it in. Sometimes you will do better on your other stuff if you take a break and work-out. Just walk if you cannot do what you used to do. I have to run or I’m crazy. My motivation is mental health. I’m nicer when I run, my kids and my husband are happier, and I don’t have to waste time stressing over what I eat.
AmyF
Working Mom to 3
http://www.sofiabean.com
February 21st, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Loved this post! Finding time to workout is my problem too. Also was a fitness fiend before getting married/having kids. (18 month-old twin girls…) Now=slug!! Ugh! I decided to start small.
I decided that *one* day per week would be a goal I think I could meet, rather than some lofty 3 times/week. One day per week if I don’t spend that time with my kids, they won’t die. Really, just one day. I feel terribly guilty about it, so I keep reminding myself that one day is not much.
If everyone survives that for a few months, maybe I’ll take it to 2 days…. hahaha
February 21st, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Kate: I couldn’t look myself in the face if I didn’t admit in the post that my “reasons” were really excuses! I’m going to take the advice given by many of the people who have commented here — great ideas, everyone!
SoftwareMom: Thank you! My youngest two definitely need lessons — well, at least the 3-year-old — and my older kids love swimming, so this is something I will definitely try!
AmyF: Maybe if I make working out a “to-do,” rather than thinking of it as something for after my “real work” is done? Thanks for the tip!
Spacegeek: Thank you! I need to start small, too. One day isn’t much, but it adds up, and that’s something…
Everyone: Work It, Mom! member jformanski wrote a great member note that ties in to the whole making-time-to-work-out concept; read it here: http://www.workitmom.com/note-2350
February 21st, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Like some of the other moms here, the early morning routine is the only one that works for me. I get up around 4 or 4:30, check e-mail, get things organized, then head to the gym for either 5:30AM spin or 5:30 body pump. I shoot for 6 workouts/week (I do a Saturday AM body pump at 9:45, when my daughter does FitKids), but often miss at least 1 day.
Giving yourself “permission” and a break is important. If the workout becomes one more stressor in your life, it pretty much defeats the purpose.
One thing I love about the early morning classes is that they’re mostly professional women. I’ve gotten to know and really enjoy both the participants and the instructors, and that makes a big difference. Knowing they’re expecting to see you there helps you get out of bed!
February 21st, 2008 at 2:01 pm
There are certainly many flavors to workout options, and here’s something we might forget about: we can craft a workout routine that uses *many* strategies, and adapt them according to changing circumstances. Sometimes we can work out at a gym, sometimes we can do our own thing. Sometimes we can work out on a machine in our basement, sometimes we can take a brisk walk. I detect a sense of “If I don’t go to the gym enough days, it’s not worth it” or “If I don’t use that eliptical machine in my basement enough days, it’s not worth it”…I think that’s a bit self-defeating. I think spacegeek is right on the money: Why not allow ourselves a trial period where we won’t beat ourselves up if we don’t exercise more than 3 times a week? Why not start with baby steps? Even if we start out with limited workouts, I believe it does get easier to weasel more exercise time out of our schedules as time passes. (Not to mention it’s easier as the kids get older.)
I used to do the gym-at-crack-o-dawn thing for 5 years. It was fine for a time. But when I sensed it was wearing me down, I didn’t give up: I adapted. I happen to work for a company now where I work out at lunchtime. I know that showers eat into our time, so my solution is to use a wet washcloth or baby wipes to wipe sweaty spots (esp armpits), reapply deodorant, and believe it or not, that’s sufficient.
One workout option I like is to jog in the warmer weather on the weekends, but the moment the temp dips (which is 3/4 of the year in New England), I substitute it for the bottom steps of my staircase…presto: instant step class. The stairs are situated near the living room, and while it’s nice if I can watch something I like, I don’t mind if Junior is watching some kid program. I find having the TV on helps to make the drudgery of the workout easier. (And one reason I do this instead of working out in our basement is…it’s too damn cold down there!)
As far as getting out to a gym during the workday, I engage in a subtle campaign in my office to convince people that exercise helps to clear my head and thus I am a sharper employee mentally. To my employers, I’m sure they like the fact that I make myself healthy through exercise (health insurance anyone? Ka-ching!). So it makes it a bit easier to do it at work. I also work in a state that for the last 3 years has had this program called “Shape UP RI” where teams of people try to commit to getting in exercise minutes and (campaign-issued) pedometer steps and weight loss, logging their stats every other week. I think it’d be great if other states (are ya listening, MA?) did the same thing. Kinda puts a more positive encouragement on exercising. I’m all for that!
Oh, and if your SO isn’t fully on board with your need to exercise, I would use that same mind game thing with them. (”Hey, did you know exercise makes one a better lover?” or whatever)
Be careful not to make it a nagging thing. Whenever my husband assumes child duty so I can exercise, when I’m done I go over to him all smiles and thank him profusely (kisses go a long way here).
I realize this is a real hodgepodge of random thoughts, but I hope they’re helpful! Sorry about the length of this post.
Did I also mention that I do tae kwon do? I got talked into it after my son had been attending it for a while. Martial arts — whew, it’s like boot camp sometimes! - Paula.
February 21st, 2008 at 2:32 pm
jhurlbert: I hadn’t thought of the networking angle to taking an early morning class. I’m going to have to look into this and haul myself out of bed… there seems to me more and more pros to the idea.
Paula: Thank you for all the great examples, ideas, and details! I’m in New England, too, and the weather is definitely a factor when it comes to doing anything outside (or, for that matter, going outside to get somewhere else to do anything).
February 21st, 2008 at 3:10 pm
I’m a working mom of 2 very active kids. I am also a certified Jazzercise Instructor but prior to becoming one, I arranged my workouts around the time they had their activities. So if my daughter or son has dance or karate from 6-8, I take a class between that time or go for a run/walk, yoga. Now that I’m an instructor, I teach 3-4 days a week. My kids activities are on M/W/F evenings, so I teach T/Th evenings and Sat/Sun mornings which leaves the afternoons for their activities/games/performances/competitions, etc and time for us to hang out and do the things we love together.
February 21st, 2008 at 5:04 pm
BK: That’s a great way to manage both your children’s activities and your own. When my youngests are a bit older, and able to handle more activities, I will definitely keep this in mind!
Everyone: If you haven’t already, check out the cool Q&A that’s going on right now, about how much time you spend working out. Here’s the link: http://workitmom.com/question-2347
February 21st, 2008 at 5:31 pm
I completely agree AmyF! I am a MUCH nicer person and mommy when I have taken the time to go to yoga or even walk around the indoor track for 30 minutes!!
So, see, even if we *selfishly* take time for ourselves, its still *really* for our kids!!
February 21st, 2008 at 7:00 pm
I’m kind of late to this discussion, but I have to say that when I was working at the office, I rarely found time to work out. Maybe once a week. Luckily, my hubby got me a treadmill at home so I would do that maybe once a week too. (Surprisingly, you can find them kind of cheap at those fitness discount stores), but for those with no space in their house or means for it, I just don’t know how you do it. Maybe on the weekend when kids nap? it’s really a dilemma.
February 21st, 2008 at 7:03 pm
It is SO hard and so important! To be honest, I have no idea how moms who work outside the home get as much done as you all do; I had to quit my stressful job when my daughter was 2 because I couldn’t handle it. So you have my admiration.
But even working at home, I could never find the time — what little time I had when my daughter was at school had to be used for my at-home business.
I even joined a gym and kept up the payments, thinking that would incent me to make the time. It didn’t. I paid for it and never used it for two years.
Then last summer, I had a health scare and finally got serious. I joined a weight clinic and found that being accountable to the counselors there forced me to stick to the program. A month later, I applied the same principle to working out and signed up with a trainer.
Five months later, I am making time for my workouts five times a week. But unlike you, my time is a lot more flexible and I don’t have that nasty commute. Perhaps there’s a club near your work that you could use on your lunch break or before you head home? And a trainer is expensive, but one could get you started. When you have to go to the trouble to call to cancel an appointment, sometimes you just do it.
Good luck!
February 22nd, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Kim J: Excellent point! It’s so easy to forget that by taking care of ourselves we can better take care of the people who depend on us.
Selfmademom: I’m trying to get mre carido in by following some of the suggestions other readers have left here — they have been awesome. I can never seem to get the little two to nap at the same time, but now I have even more motivation to keep trying!
Donna: Thanks, Donna! It sounds like it was a long process for you, but you kept at it and reached your goal. I need to remember that, not only can I not become trim and fit instantly, I probably can’t acheive work-out nirvana instantly either, and need to give myself more time to build it into my day-to-day life!
Everyone: Diane Lane has just written a great article for us about ways multi-tasking moms can get a workout at home — while doing the things we do anyway! Check it out, here’s the link: http://www.workitmom.com/article-2372
February 22nd, 2008 at 7:53 pm
Reality–some weeks are better than others I found a great almost substitute however. There is a FABULOUS Body Firming Serum made by physican who specializes in safe and effective skin care for moms The name is Belli and I swear by stuff. Check it out at http://www.belliskincare.com
February 24th, 2008 at 9:52 am
I’m fortunate to have a family friendly fitness center near where I live. The owner, a mother of four who was frustrated about not having time to workout, created the center. Every time there is an adult class, there is a kid’s class. Not only do I get a stress relief, but my kids get to expend some energy too.
April 13th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
I too recently joined a gym and find it hard to squeeze in time to go. I joined with a friend but that actually didn’t help my effort since instead of being able to go to the gym right by my job, I have to come home pick her up and then go at a much later time than had I went right by my job. They do have a child care center there which is a plus I just don’t want to have to lug them there at night when they are usually getting ready for bed. I think exercise becomes like another job you just need to learn how to fit into life just like work, taking care of kids, cooking, cleaning and laundry. Finding the perfect time is the hard part. I hope to be able to find time for at least 3 days a week.
May 16th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
If it’s not priority, it will never happen. Working out has to be a top priority in order for someone to schedule it in and for most people it’s not. Which is okay if your okay with it. Luckily, my sons school makes
May 16th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
It has to be a top priority or it will never fit into your schedule. For most people its not a priority and that’s okay if your happy with that. If your not happy and you want to work out, sit down and think of what time you can do that every day and practice doing it for about a month. THe longer you do it, the more it will become a habit for you, just like anything else. It was realy hard to get myself back to working out after the baby but now I squeeze in the gym 4-5 days a week. And I work full time. Most of the time I go in exhausted from not sleeping much and having a baby but I still go. It has way paid off. I really truly never thought I would lose all of my baby weight and have a flat stomach again.
May 24th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
I, too, was very fit pre kids. Not so fit afterward. Then I took up running and was really dedicated for a good three years. I got up at 5:30 a.m. and ran before hubby and kids were awake.
The problem is that meant I had to go to bed at 9 p.m., and never saw my husband. So now me and hubby are spending more time together (good!), but I’m running less. Ugh!
June 10th, 2008 at 7:07 am
I use the new Wii Fit when I cannot fit in any other workout time. I mean I can even do it at 2:00 am and no one bugs me then. It’s an interesting alternative to the gym or the sluglike feeling of not doing anything - which I know well.